Shattered - |d.s|

III

Beep beep beep. My alarm blared causing me to jump out of my bed. Dam these alarms. After yawning and stretching, I turned to my side and saw it was 8am. Shit I have work. I hate work. After contemplating if I should go, I finally hoped out of the bed and went to the bathroom. I did my usually business and jumped into the shower.

My marks. My scars. My memories. My life. It's been a month since I've self harmed however, the scars are still there. My therapists knew, he told me they would stay, reminding me, haunting me. It was something I couldn't forget. I was in a abusive relationship. Harry would always call me names; fat, ugly, worthless, nothing. Those names still haunt me, it's like a tape recorder, looping around and around, never stopping. Maybe that's why the voices are still in my mind. Harry treated me like I was nothing so I believed I was nothing. I couldn't tell Kyle. He was happy finally, I didn't want to take that away from him. Happiness. I would love to feel that way again.

Checking to see that the hallway was clear, I went back to my room and put on my outfit; the Starbucks one. I worked for Starbucks for as long as I can remember. I applied eyeliner and mascara and straightened my light brown hair. I grabbed my purse and phone before making my way downstairs.

"Ells why are you awake?" Kyle asked as I made my way to grab an apple.

"I have work.. the space keys are hidden between the Disney films so you guys can go where you want." I reply while taking a bite of the apple.

"Okay thanks, are you okay? Tell me seriously Ellie, I'm worried." Kyle's toned changed into a seriously one.

"I'm perfectly fine, don't worry about me." I stared at his eyes, trying to convince him.

"Okay, I believe you." He replied before wrapping his arms around me and lightly kissing my forehead.

"I'm going, I'll be back before 6"

Starbucks is only 5 minutes away from my house. In reality I finish my shift at 3 however, I've got an appointment with the therapist which starts at 3:30. The day goes by quickly, I'm either serving customers or thinking about someone in particular. Dan.

He might be the only one who knows something is wrong.

Flashback
"You're stupid I told you to do something and you fucking mess it up! Why do you think I still am with you!" Harry roars, making me back towards the wall.

" I'm sorry, I didn't know." I whimper, wishing that earth would swallow me. You deserve this. My mind said. You deserve pain.

"You unless, whore, good for nothing!" He screams in my face before he slaps me causing me to collapse onto the floor.

"No one will ever be happy with you. You bring bad luck!" He yells before storming away. I bring my knees towards my face and cry.

You deserve all of this. Good for nothing. Loser. My mind keeps playing until I had enough. I scream ontop of lungs, pulling my hair.

"Make it stop!" I scream before everything turns black.

End of flashback

I snap out of my flashback only to realise Dan is in front of me. He has a concerned look on his face.

"I'm sorry what?" I asked, already blushing like mad.

"I kept calling your name, and it looked like you were dreaming? Are you okay?" Dan said, running his hand through his hair. Oh god his hair.

"Oh, I'm sorry, yes I'm fine, would you like anything?"

"Yeah a medium Cappuccino please." I nod my head and served his drink. He eventually left. I have also finished my shift so now I'm heading to the therapist.

"I'm Ellie Simmons" I tell the receptionist, she finds my name and redirects me into the waiting room. I hate it here. The place smells like medicine. All the walls are coloured in blue. It apparently 'cools' the body, that's why everything is painted blue, but I doubt it, it doesn't 'cool' me. After waiting for 20 minutes, the nurse comes out and calls my name. I hate this. Deal with it.

"Nice to meet you again Ellie." Dr Robbert greets me. He's in his fifties and has short white hair. He has piercing green eyes. I don't mind him, he's kind and funny however, he always asks the same questions. I guess in a way it's good, it means I don't have to talk much.

" so tell me, any bad dreams? Any flashbacks?" He leans back on his chair and crosses his arms.

"Nope none" I reply, this is always my answer.

"How's your life going?" He fires the next question. I decide to tell him the truth.

"It's going good, my brother and his friends have come over to stay so I'm excited and happy to see him." I smile.

"Ah that's good... here's colours and papers. I want you to draw, anything that is on your mind." Dr Robert hands me some paper and colours. He studies me intensively. Picking out any emotion or reaction. He has his notepad ready. I think what can I draw. Suddenly my hand reaches towards the colours and I start drawing. I don't even look up I just draw. By the end I've realised I drew Dan. Of course I did.

"Is that your brother?" Dr Robert asked, looking closely at the drawing. I could say it's not but then he would bombard me with questions. I wasn't in the mood for it.

"Um yes he is" i say, feeling uncomfortable.

"Interesting, well this concludes our session, see you next week." He states, standing up and collecting my files before stacking them.

"Thank you." I reply, quickly getting up and rushing to leave this place. I need air. I sit outside on a beach and think to myself. Why did I draw him for? My mind replies; it's because you're starting to get feelings for him.

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A/N

When you realise Chirstmas is in 2 days...

Guys I would appreciate if you vote and comment on my chapters and give me feedback. This would really help me.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter