Shattered - |d.s|

XV

He left.

We have been face timing, calling, texting. Just like he had promised. I miss him so much. Without him, the nightmares and voices came back, slowly haunting and taunting me like before. I told him that and he looked so guilty, from then on, he made sure he texted 'goodnight Princess' at exactly 10. It was hard on him too, he also looked like he barely got any sleep due to his work and coming up with lyrics.

I missed touching him, his warm hug, his beautiful smile, his scent. He gave me some of his t-shirts but the smell of him was fading.

Me and Charlie have gotten even closer. He is always pops into Starbucks and spend the time talking if no one's around. At home it was lonely like it used to be before they came. Usually as you stepped into the house you could hear Kyle laughing from miles away, you could hear the chattering. But now you can't even hear a pin drop.

This gives me time to remember and think. Harry gave me bad memories however, Dan gave me good memories. I still remember our last kiss, it was so passionate, forceful, filled with emotion and love. I could still feel his lips, lingering on mine.

Isn't it funny how one person can come to your life out of the blue and change it? How one person can make your shitty day 100 times better. If Dan didn't come into my life, I don't know what would have happened. I would never have started painting again. I would have never found happiness. It's amazing how all it takes is one person to forget about everything. They say that life is short. But life is never short when you have so much going around you. Life is a bitch.

Currently Katie is around as she is feeling lonely too. Both of us are watching the little mermaid while eating a tub full of ice cream. That's how we spend most of our time.

"E I'm bored, let's going shopping." Katie whines.

"Same let's go." I say getting up.

It's only 4pm and the shopping centre is only a mile away. We grab our jackets and head out of the door. Katie drives as she wanted to. Outside the weather is gloomy, dark clouds are filling up the sky. The cold winter wind is sweeping across the town, making the leaves scatter across the pavement and roads. People are walking quickly, hugging their coats closer to their chests.

The smell of coffee lingers across the shopping mall giving the atmosphere some warmth. There weren't as many people in the ground floor as most people were most likely in the second floor, where they sell food and drinks. We headed straight for River Island as it was the closest shop. I end up picking this black turtleneck top and black boots with 4 inches heel on them. Katie ends up getting the same top in grey and some ripped jeans. After we pay for them we head to our next favourite shop; boots. Boots is at the far end of the same floor. From boots I purchased a brand new curling iron as my old one is broken. Katie buys a bunch of different makeup as well as a small travel sized Ted Baker perfume.

We wander around, looking at displays of different things. Different items were out on display, from clothes to decorating pieces. One stood out the most. It was a beautiful small sculpture. The silhouette had beautiful white wings, the silhouette was positioned leaning; as if it was going to fall down. I went into the small shop and brought the sculpture.

I wander aimlessly around the shops, finding a gift for Dan. I see Waterstones and instantly remember a memory of Dan showing me his favourite songs. We were in his room, I sat on his lap as I flicker through the pages of his favourite songs. His hands were wrapped around my waist, he occasionally pointed to certain lyrics and explaining British references or telling weird stories that helped him to come up with ideas for the song. He told me his inspirations for the songs.