Shattered - |d.s|

S i x t e e n

Every single day I'm scared. Leaving home feels like a living nightmare. At work I feel petrified, I'm constantly looking around trying to find him. I was so stupid into thinking that I could be happy again. Every time I am happy, something happens and the happiness fades. I guess I was never destined to be happy. I just want the world to swallow me up, to not exist.

"Charlie, I need your help!" I exclaim over the phone.

"You okay? I'm coming to your house." he replies, before disconnecting the phone line.

He arrives in less than 10 minutes and hectically rings the doorbell. I hurry and open it, making sure its Charlie and not Harry. He quickly steps inside, embracing me tightly. We make our way inside and sit on the sofas.

"Tell me whats up?" He asks, taking his coat off.

"well, um please don't act crazy but, you remember I told you about my ex and that he said he would come back, i got a message from him saying he's coming back." I tell him as calmly as i could. I took my phone out from my pocket and showed him the message. He looked at the messge, his mouth forming into a 'O' shape.

"Holy shit Ellie, you have to tell Dan. What about if he does the same thing to you as before. Plus you're with Dan now and not him. What the fuck are you going to tell Harry?" He questions, looking worried.

"I can't tell Dan, hes already too stressed. Plus he will get super angry and come here. I don't want him to leave everything behind just for my stupid ass." I sigh, leaning backwards.

"Did you message him back?"

"yeah but he hasn't replied, I asked when is he coming here."

"You have to tell Harry about you and Dan. You can't live your life unhappy." He puts his arm around me, trying to comfort me.

"I guess I have to do something." I mutter.

Self harm content below

The blade cuts deep into my skin, fresh red blood gushes from the wound, flowing down my stomach. The stinging sensation impacts me, causing me to close my eyes. Tears blind my vision, making it difficult to see. The voices scream around in my mind, trapping me till their the only thing I can hear. I slide down the shower, my knees near my chest. The water drains away the blood as if nothing had happened. I get out of the shower eventually and stared at my lifeless body in the mirror.

I looked sick, my complexion is as pale as a ghost, the soft brown colour of my eyes swallowed up by the dark, dim and fearful emotions that are reflected into my eyes. The bones in my body are now more defined due to not eating. I look like a mess.

I walk into my closet and pick out the outfit I was going to wear. Nothing fancy. I pick out Black adidas sweatpants and I wore one of Dan's shirts which he claimed was short for him but the perfect size for me.

The doorbell rings. My heart stops. I freeze feeling no emotion left within me. I'm completely numb. I know who it is. I can feel it. My body guides itself to the door, opening it wide. There he stands, with a smirk on his face. I stare at him. He stares back. His blonde hair has been styled messy as if he's just woken up now. His grey eyes are fill of excitement.

"Ain't you going to say something?" I flinch, remembering the bad memories as they come racing back.

"Um...hey" I awkwardly say, he puts his arm around me to give me a hug. I can smell the drugs from him.

"Why do you smell like a boy?" He seriously asks, sniffing on my shoulder.

"I have a boyfriend." I blurt out, realising only seconds later what's I've said. It feels like my mind is doing the talking.

"You what?" He screams coming closer and closer to me until I can feel his breath on my face. I begin to whimper, and he slaps me across my face. I can taste the blood in my mouth.

"I don't care who ever the fuck he is. Your mine and no one else." He angrily yells, he drags me upstairs and forces himself on me.

I wake up crying. Harry's lying next me. When he's sleeping he looks normal. You could never be able to tell that he was abusive. He already has my phone and I'm not allowed it back.

In the shower I scrub my body 3 times, wishing that his touch would vanish but, it stays there. Hopelessly I get out of the shower and wear my Starbucks uniform. I quickly write a note saying where I am. I need to find Charlie. I need to tell him. I walk ten times more quicker and arrive at Starbucks in a few minutes. I could already see Charlie's hair in the distant. I run up to him and embrace him, letting the tears flow.

"Please don't interrupt, basically he found me and now he's here and he's going to come to Starbucks to see if I'm not talking to any other guy. I told him about having a boyfriend and he slapped me. He has my phone so don't bother saying anything." I quickly say, looking around frantically incase he was looming nearby.

"I'm staying here and I'm going to see him. Give me any sort of signal when he's there." He replies, looking at me. I nod, go inside and begin to work.

I knew he was going to come and he did an hour later. Charlie looked at me as to say 'is that him' and I quietly nodded. Harry came up to me as I was behind the counter.

"I'm taking you with me. We are going to my house. As soon as you finish here, I'll come to your house and pick you up. I'm have very important work to do and don't fucking dare tell anyone." He sternly said, leaning other the counter. I nodded and he left, his hands clenched tightly.

Charlie came over and asked what he said. I should tell him. What about if something bad happens, at least I wouldn't be there to rot away.

"He said that he's taking me with him. Don't worry I don't think he means it in a bad way. Just don't tell Dan anything please." I plead.

"Okay fine but how will I know if your safe?" He asks, shoving his hands in his pocket.

"Ill contact you somehow, Don't worry about me. " I nervously say. No way is hell would Harry allow me to talk to anyone.

At the end of my shift I walk slowly back home. The weather has changed dramatically. The wind was as strong as ever, the rain fell more forcefully. It was already dark even though the time is 3. I guess the weather reflects my life. As I turn onto the street I can see his car parked In front of the house. There's no escaping. My mind taunts me.

He sits there in his car, the music pumping out loud. He's slowly nodding along, his eyes closed. I quickly unlock my house and get packing. Fresh tears make their way to my eye, making my vision blurry. I see Dan's t-shirts, the ones he left for me and I burst out crying.

I'm never going to see him again. I'm never going to touch him. Kiss him. Run my hands through his hair.

I touch the necklace he gave me, resting on my chest. I close my eyes and think of him. I think of every single detail on his face, every line, every freckle. No way in hell am I taking this off. I gently lift the charm upto my lips and give it a kiss.

I suddenly realise Katie doesn't know any of this. I run to get paper and a pen and explain everything as best as I can. I leave the note beside my bed and grab everything that I need.

I look at my house one last time, roaming around the corridors. The memories rush back. The cushion fight, me and Dan cuddling, when Will was upset he didn't win monopoly, when Woody was talking to Chrissy downstairs. I take a deep breath and leave the house, my heart shattering at every step that I take.

I see him smiling, walking towards me.

"You ready babe?" He asks, picking my suitcase.

"Yeah." I turn around, looking at my house, absorbing every detail before sitting down at the passenger seat.

A/N

HOLY FUCKING SHIT GUYS WE HAVE REACHED 1K AHHHHH!! THANK YOU SO MUCH, ILY!

Also new question ;)

What country are you from?

I'm from England :)