Unexpected - Shawn Mendes

Chapter Thirty Four

The next morning, there was definitely some confusion going on when Jake showed up to my house to get me for school. He didn't know this at the time, but I had already planned for Shawn to take me. Considering he actually showed up after how he spoke to me, I assumed that the alcohol in his system blocked his memory and he simply didn't remember what he said.

But, he remembered.

The first thing he said was that he was sorry. I stück up my nose, and ignored his remark. "Shawn is taking me to school," I say rudely, "you can leave now. You won't have to take me ever again."

He sighed, but didn't object. This actually contributed to the anger building up inside of me. He knew that when he left, our relationship would be leaving with him. But he showed up to my door with nothing more than a sorry, and was not phased at all when I told him to leave. I mutter some curse words under my breath to express my anger towards Jake as I wait for Shawn. It helped me to relieve some of my anger, and pass the time.

When Shawn pulls into the driveway, I head outside and enter his car, muttering a good morning as I buckle my seatbelt. He says "good morning" back, and the rest of the ride was silent. From this, I assumed that Shawn was having a bad morning as well.

I enjoyed how much me and Shawn connected, and how even though it was quiet, it wasn't lonely. I could be sitting in a room with Shawn in nothing but silence and still feel entertained.

But, I was curious as to why he was in a bad mood. "Is everything okay?" I ask him, giving him a soft smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" Shawn responds, raising an eyebrow at me as he awaits my answer. I can tell by the lack of emotion in his voice that something is bothering him, but I don't push him any more.

"I don't know, you're usually a lot more talkative," I shrug, and notice how he is eyeing me through the mirror in the car.

"I assumed you didn't want to talk, you seem kind of stiff," he says. And at that moment, I realize that I've been sitting with my arms crossed tightly over my chest, and most likely a pissy look on my face.

"Oh..," I start, "I didn't even notice. Jake and I have been having a lot of problems. He called me last night, and he was drunk and said a few things that I'm sure he didn't mean. But it was still hurtful, you know? After everything that happened with my parents, and everything they did, and it really made me sensitive to him acting that way. He came to get me this morning and he apologized, but when I told him to leave he did it. Without even asking me for another chance, all he said was sorry. I think I should end it, what do you think," I ramble, trying to calm myself down. I was curious what Shawn thought, and if I was being reasonable.

"Everyone handles things differently. There's no correct way to handle anything," he starts, "It's all about where you think you will grow the most as a person. If you can't see a future with Jake, then is it worth wasting time? Just ask yourself those things. He should know you don't like that stuff by now," Shawn assures me. I take in what he says, and can't help but agree. What is the point of wasting time with someone who doesn't help you grow as a person just because you have feelings for them?

"I think I'm going to just end things. I like him a lot, but he doesn't care if I'm with him or not. He hasn't changed much, and I thought he did," I sigh. Shawn takes a sip of his coffee, and offers me some. I gladly accept, needing the energy.

"It'll be okay, G. I promise," he says, removing one hand from the steering wheel and clutching my hand in his. He gives me a reassuring squeeze, and a smile.

So, maybe my morning wasn't so bad after all. Sitting here in the car, holding Shawn's hand, reminded me of the dream I recently had. And although I was still indecisive about Jake, I didn't bother to move my hand. In fact, I might've liked it. Just a little.

We reach our school, where our hands depart as we exit the car. I grab his coffee for him. As I begin to hope that once he locks the car and gets his backpack on, he'll reach for my hand again. But he doesn't bother. I sigh.

"Everything okay?" he asks, concerned.

"Yeah," I shrug, "Just a little confused in my thoughts."

He nods. He always seemed to understand things, and never pushed me too far when I didn't want to talk about something.

"Shawn? Do you want to do something on Friday? Like something nice?" I ask, nervously. It was not a date, but I wanted to sort out my feelings and discovering how I really felt for Shawn was important. I still liked Jake, a lot.

But there has to be some reason I get all tingly around Shawn.

"Actually," he says "I have a show on Friday. A meet and greet. Do you want to come? I can get you really good tickets. And then after its over, I'll take you somewhere. But I get to pick where and it's a surprise."

I become instantly excited, for I'd be able to see Shawn sing, which was questionably one of my favorite things in the world. "Yeah, that sounds fun," I say, grinning.

I was mentally kicking myself for being so happy around Shawn right now. After what happened with Jake, I expected myself to be more upset. It actually felt appropriate to be upset after your boyfriend calls you and acts the way that Jake did.

Maybe I'm over thinking it. Maybe it's not a big deal and I'm being a basic girl by stressing so much. Maybe it was okay to be happy and smile even though my boyfriend treated me poorly.

I spent a lot of last night sulking in my room and being upset. I was up pretty late too, considering it was after midnight when I got in contact with him. After that long of a night, maybe I did deserve to be happy.

Instead of bitching over how I should be in a worse mood, perhaps I should be more grateful that I had someone to make me happy when I'm having a hard time.

I wasn't payint attention to my surroundings we we walked, too deep in my own thoughts. As we reach the curb, Shawn steps up. However, since I wasn't paying attention, I tripped on my way up, landing smack on the coffee. Ironically. I had worn a white shirt which was now brown. Not to mention my skin was boiling hot. Shawn let me wear his hoodie, he thankfully was wearing an undershirt.

I changed into the hoodie in the bathroom, and stuffed the other shit i was previously wearing into my bag. I fix my hair, which was dampened by the coffee, and take a deep breath.

Maybe today wouldn't be so good after all.

MERRY CHRISTMAS I LOVE YOU ALL!!

Thank you for all of the accomplishments you have helped me achieve and all the love, support, and encouragement.

I am completely astonished that something I started for fun has helped me become stronger, and that people support me through my journey. I never through I'd get this far. I hope that you have all gotten something from my writing, whether it was factual or a moral lesson.

I am unable to put into words how appreciative I am for you guys, for you share my interests and support me every step of the way, even when I update slow. 

My writing and stories would not be where they are without every single one of you!! Thanks for all the progress we have made this year. I'm so blessed to have the opportunity to grow in my writing in this way.

QUESTION:: WHAT DID YOU GET FOR CHRISTMAS?? (: