Suicide[ON HOLD]

Is happiness fictional or fact?

I know it has been along time guys and I truly apologize  but know that I'm here for you guys and this has made it so far because of you so have fun reading and enjoy!

 When I woke up Cody made me my favorite breakfast; which consisted of french toast, scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, and wheat blueberry waffles with orange juice. "Thanks babe," I said as he walked in. Cody placed the tray on my lap and the trash can next to the bed. ''Just in case," he said without looking at me. As he got dressed for school, I watched him as I finished my food. "Hey, could we talk?" I asked him. He stopped in his tracks and sat on the bed , placing my legs on his lap. "Cody, I'm sorry about all the trouble I've caused." He looked at me and smiled. "You're the greatest trouble I've ever loved and that's saying somthing babe. Also, you better get some rest today; if you need anything the maid, Ms. Debbie, is here to help," he said as he kissed my forehead. I watched him leave and I had this intent feeling that I wasn't going to stay in bed all day. Although I wanted to get up and do things right away I was too tired, so I slept for a few hours. 

As I woke up I had an extreme craving for food and I mean lots of it. The maid, Ms. Debbie, offered to help but I turned her down. I could make myself my own food and I wanted I doubt she would be able to put it all together the way I would. While making up my mystery of a lunch there was a knock at the door. Ms. Debbie was more than welcome to answer it. "Open up Zoe, I know you're there. Please, I need to talk to you," I heard that voice on the other side of the door and I knew it was him. Ms. Debbie looked at me for approval, making sure I was ok with letting him in. "It's fine, Ms. Debbie, you can let him in,"  I said. As he walked in he was holding this box filled to the top with stuff. "I brought these things for you. They were your mothers' and I figured you would want them," he said awkwardly as placed the box on the couch. "No, don't sit it there. Here, follow me to our room you can put it in there," I told him. When we got to Cody's room he sat the box in the back corner of the bedroom. 

"So, you said 'our' room, do you mean you and the baby?"  I knew what he was trying to do, making me think he actually cared. "No, this is where Cody and I sleep, I live in this room with him."  "Hmm...," was all he could manage to say as his shoulders sunk and his head hung low. That entire time he didn't look at me, just looked everywhere else,as if he couldn't face me. "Ok, well if that's all you came to do I think it's time for you to leave," I told him as I turned towards the door. I didn't make it that far though because he grabbed my arm and turned me around. I wasn't expecting what came next, I was so used to getting hit by him that I raised my hands defensively. Instead he reached for my stomach and that was a huge shock. I backed away quickly and said, "You're not taking this one away from me." He pulled his hand back with a confused look on his face and said, "I just wanted to feel it and what do you mean by 'this one'? Are you saying there have been others?" I shook my head said, "Nothing, nothing. Can you just leave, you brought her stuff now leave!" He started to walk towards the door and I heard him mumble, "I didn't mean for this to happen."  Hearing that had me fuming, how could he dare say that after everything that's happened. I stormed after him yelling, "You started all this. You might not have meant for any of it to happen but you're the one that chose on your own that you were going to start touching your daughter. No, and you didn't just stop there you had to molest me too. The normal thing after mum died would be to go find someone your own age but no you go straight for your own daughter. You're the reason I'm so messed up in the head, why I've tried dozens of times to kill myself, and don't forget you're the reason why I'll be bringing another child into the world. You came home that day and you lost it, it was as if not fucking me drove you crazy. You may not see it as fucked up but to not only have been molestd for 5 years but to have it seen by someone else, someone that actually cared about me. I can never take that back, I can never not have him see that and not have myself endure that embarassment. I couldn't take it I was so tired of it all and the way he looked at me with such innocence. He shouldn't have been able to look so carefreeas if he wasn't the one to blame.

I started to feel sick as well as dizzy and I needed to sit soon,before my knees gave way. As I tried to make my way to the couch I had gotten so weak that I'd fallen. My dad rushed to my side checking to see if I was ok and as he reached to help me I pushed his hands away. "Don't touch me!" I started to get up when Cody walked in the door and saw the scene before him. He dropped his stuff and ran towards my dad, pushing him out of the way. Cody helped me up and got me to the couch as he made sure I was ok. "Get out!  Can't you just leave her alone already? Can't you see that she doesn't need added stress?" he asked my dad. 

My dad left and that was that. Cody brought me a glass of water, making sure I was good to walk to the bedroom. "Did Ms. Debbie call you and tell you something was wrong? How did you know to be here?"  I asked him. "Actually, no, she didn't. I was going to come by and check on you during lunch time.," he said with a blush. I looked at him and kissed him, it was an intensified feeling and I wanted to stay like that for a while. Unfortunately, my stomach growled and I remembered my mystery meal in the kitchen. He looked down at me and said,"I take it you haven't eaten since whatever that is on the kitchen counter hasn't even been touched." I did my best not to laugh at that but hell when I goy a craving, I was serious about it. "Since that was apparently ahuge fail bae I'm just going to go clean that mess up then I'll be back with Subway, that sound ok?" he asked. I was perfectly fine with that so I shook my head yes. Happy and elated that I was finally going to get some food in my system after all that drama. Cody kissed me on the forehead and left the room and that's when I remembered the box my dad brought for me. Saying it had some of my mum's things in it. I looked at, not willing to put myself through that pain, and not wanting to dwell mon what was inside I threw some clothes on top of it. Completely concealing my past all in a simple task. If only everything was that easy.

.you have it you guys...there it it,,i'll update soon..promise you haven't even got to see what's in store,,:)- also those of you who like to start rrom the beginning or new readers I will be editing my first fe chapters, everything will stay the same just a more refurbished edition. Enjoy! Love you guys Don't forget to comment,,vote,,&&tell your friends..:)

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