“I think that we are like stars. Something happens to burst us open; but when we burst open and think we are dying; we’re actually turning into a supernova. And then when we look at ourselves again, we see that we’re suddenly more beautiful than we ever were before!”
― C. JoyBell C.
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-Chapter Six-
"I'm not very fond of black. It never really suited me until I met you. It's not exactly black, to be fair. You know what my favorite color is? If I could choose, you know, it would be the color of the sky at night. Not dark, but not bright, either. Simply contented by the stars. That's my favorite color," I heard Zayn laugh.
"I skateboard, but I barley ride it anymore. I've been too caught up with you. I remember when I first started, paranoid that I would fall and hurt myself. Are you ever scared?"
My brain started to throb in odd patterns, making my head pulse with pain. I opened my pink lips as far as my jaw would let me, automatically parting my eyelashes to reveal my ocean blue eyes. Zayn shot up from a familiar chair, rushing to my bed.
"Shh, it's okay. You're okay," he whispered like how a broken mother mocks to her newborn child. It's not for me, exactly, it's for Zayn to reassure that everything is okay.
He's no longer fragile, he's broken.
I grab his hand, frozen with the strands of hair he was twiddling with still remained twisted around his fingers. He sent a shy smile at me as I sent him one back, pushing myself up. I let out a groan and roll my eyes when I notice my surroundings.
"I'm back in the death cabinet," I huffed. Zayn looked down at me, about to start a sentence before I stop him. "No, I don't care anymore. I don't care heat happened. Heck, I don't even care if I'm alive or not, just take me home, Zayn" I demanded, taking him back. He stepped away, out into the hallway with fresh tear stains on his cheeks.
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I plop down on the couch, taking over the pillows and messing up the neatly folded laundry Farra must have done today. Zayn huffs.
"I'm taking a nap," he spoke, leaving me alone in the living room. I poke my head up, enough to see is glossy eyes.
"Are you okay?" I asked, concerned about what's going through his mind. I know it's about me, but I don't want to just draw conclusions. I brought my body to a standing position and walked quickly over to Zayn, crunching my eyebrows. He continued his gaze forward, stealing peeks of my from the corner of his eyes.
"Zayn?" I squeaked, imitated by him for the first time since I woke up. He raised his chin up higher and a lump swells in my throat. I repeat more demanding,"Zayn."
"What? I heard you. What do you want, Avery?" he stepped closer, hovering me while I twist my hair with my finger. I tilt my chin up. "For me to tell you more personal stories while you sleep? For me to comfort you in the hospital again while you have another brain failure?" He whispered loudly, his face hardened and voice cold, emotionless. "To tell you stories of us when we were children? To tell you stories of your parents?"
By the time Zayn finished, a tear pooled at the corner of my mouth. I swallowed as my lip shivered and I spoke. "Zayn, stop. You're scaring me. "A wave of emotion flashed in his eyes disappearing like mist.
"What? You can't remember, so why should it matter? You don't care," he spoke his cruel words slow, sure to stab me in the right spot.
"Zayn, I said stop!" I sobbed, twisting my wrist in nervousness. I suck on my lip and release it. I back away, Zayn following me until I hit a wall. My voice quiver when I whisper," If anything why should you care?"
His face sinks almost instantly as I slip away. He walls to the closet, stopping in front of the closet for a quilt to sleep with. I narrow my eyes at him.
"Do t walk away from me, Zayn Malik. And don't you think it's scary to sleep in the bed where I almost died?" I bite my lip, Zayn hands releasing the quilt and letting it fall on the hard floor with a thum.
I clench the rug between my ties as he comes closer to me every second. My breathing becomes uneven as he towers over me, and my toes cease to run through the white ruffled rug. He grabs my chin between his thumb and index finger, his rough thumb gliding over my bottom lip in the process. He swallows, frowning.
"Look at me Avery. I knew you weren't going to die" he mumbled, sniffling while squeezing my chin lightly.
"How?" I scrunched my nose up and twitched it as his hand fell from my chin, slapping against his thigh. He stared at me for an annoying 15 seconds that made me feels insecure.
"Hope," he simply answered after he pivoted, facing the other direction and continued to walk.I scratched my head, bringing my hair up into a bun and released. I continue to brush my toes across the soft carpet, catching my breath.
It wasn't until he reached the door until I called out, whimpering. "Hey, Zayn."
He stopped, his hand on the door and his black hair falling over his ear. "Yes?"
"I'm afraid," I look down, sucking my cheeks, scared at how he will react. I shouldn't have mentioned it now, when he's broken to the point he wants to hurt something just a much as he's hurt.
Seconds flew by until he mumbled,"It's me, isn't it?" He stepped back, running his hand through his hair, messing up the nice quiff he make at the hospital this morning before we left.
"No," I lean against the wall where he pinned me. "Well yes. But that's not what I ment."
He closes his eyes, and breathes out,"What are You scared of, Ave?"
I was taken back by the nickname he used to lighten the mood. "Of dying." I squeaked as water brimmed my eyes. He breathed out, before opening his eyelids to place a hand on the door knob, twisting it before flinging it open with such force it hit the closet door with a crack. His watered eyes looked back at me with a scared expression before he said the emotionless words that sent me back to the couch, crying for hope.
"I'm sorry," he slammed the door.
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-Author's note-
I am so so sorry. This was really bad, but I rushed it because I wanted it to be published on Zayn's birthday. Please forgive me!
I love you♡
Stars can't shine without darkness.
xTiff;)
YOU ARE READING
Stars (Zayn AU)
Fanfic"The stars get angry at us, just like any other human being would if we ignored their shouts. They shout for love, but not to be loved, no. But for someone else to be loved. Did you know that?"
