Stars (Zayn AU)

Chapter Eleven

“Her eyes carried

a certain kind

of silence that

begged to be

understood and I

felt as if I was

a scientist,

staring with eager,

feverant eyes into

galaxies that have not

yet had the chance

to be named.” 

― Testy McTesterson

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-Chapter Eleven-

Crying.

The blue sheets becoming wrinkled under body heat, and the moisture of her eyes fell graciously off her temple, ignoring her recently dyed blond hair completely, onto the hardwood floor, making a quiet dripping noise like rain on trees. 

I didn't do anything to help her as she sat on the mattress in the guest bedroom of Zayn's apartment. She must have known I was lingering, although, because at some point she said with her back facing me, with more boldness than expected,"You know what Farra means?"

 After a few minutes, her back still shaking, her sobs becoming more like painful moans, she stopped all together, like nothing ever happened, and whispered a shaky breath,"Joy," and went back to her prevoius state of constant sniffles and sobs that sounded like painful moans.

I stood there for five minutes after, not being able to leave or comfort her at all. Neither situation felt right, so I stood there, listening to her spirit and hope being complete torn. And it broke me too, because to me, it seemed like hope was our thing. The one thing we hold onto together, and she broke it; she flicked our hope away. 

 It felt like dominoes, once one  falls down, the other does, then another, until they are no longer needed, and their duty is done until another person wants to fool with them. 

So instead of comforting her, I backed away, past Zayn and his stern, confusing calls of my name, and into my Apartment, four doors down, and sat down with my journal. More than ready to continue my past, like my sliver of hope wasn't flicked away.

Like nothing ever happened.

~~~

Dear Mom and Dad,

I don't quite remember who you are, or what your faces were made up like. I don't remember if you were loving, sentimental, or mean, and ignorant to my problems or even me. I heard stories about you, though. Of how close I was to you, and how much you said 'I love you' even if it wasn't necessary. I only imagine it now, the crash you had. I also wonder why you died, and I didn't. It confuses me how the universe works. 

I saw Farra today for the first time in a month, and saw her sobbing in Zayn's apartment where I stayed for the weekend. I didn't know what to do at all, none of it seemed to be right. Her tears wouldn't stop, her sobs became louder and more like moans, painful ones, like a little five year old wheeling around a wheel barrel. None of it made any sense.

She seemed so broken. 

Not in a broken heart kind of way, or even in a giving up kind of way. It was like she did it to hurt someone, because in all honesty, It broke me even more than when I realized my life was practically gone with the breeze. 

I know Farra cares, she has to. The way she appeared at the hospital with her tears shoved down her throat, and her eyes puffed up like a baked caked. 

She told me her named means 'Joy'. And she meant that she was in the midst of joy, and then she dropped.

Or it could me that she never was in joy, and didn't understand why she was named that, and she broke me.

On purpose.

I love you Mom and Dad. Stay lost in the stars, 

       Avery.

 

I closed the journal, clasping the metal buttons one by one, as slow as my slim fingers would go, and sat there like I did for the first three days I arrived here. 

~~~

"Does it make any sense to you?" Zayn whispered in my ear as soon as we arrived at White Umbrella. I gave him a bizarre look, and he shook his head. "How wind works."

I look down and parted my chapped lips, ready to tell him everything revolved around gravity, but I knew that wasn't the answer at all, and narrowed my eyes at him,"I don't know."

He winked, his long eye lashes fluttering the slightest bit, and kissed my cheek before leaving to go see one of the kids. 

I looked around, particularly looking for Evie, but didn't see her in sight. Finally, a small, petite, girl with red hair tied up in a messy pony tail, one you would wear after an intense work-out, tapped my elbow and spoke quietly,"Egypt is sick today," and went off skipping in the direction of three other girls her size.

Zayn's eyes landed on mine, and walked over with a yellow envelope, like one would get in school contained with a report card or paper work. His eyes fell when he laid it in my hands and whispered in my ear, his lips brushing my hair, and his voice more tightened than ever before,"The angels want to test human's emotions. Making the air go up and down. They call this wind."

 

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-Author's Note-

Hehehe, I like this chapter. c:

Thank you all for your support, and likes, and comments and YOU GUYS ARE JUST AMAZING OKAY.

want to go fly with the w i n d *choke maegan*

 

I love youuuu.x

 

xTiff(;