don't think they know. ii

Fifteen.

He held my waist firmly, my body began grinding all over his lap area. It's been a whole thirty minutes and this was suppose to be only fifteen minutes. I'm not complaining. It's August Alsina for godsakes. I turned around, straddling his waist and grabbing on my breast. There was no space between us. The moment was so hot, and tempting. I literally almost forgot where I was. As I finished up the lapdance, he gave me a slap on the butt.

"What's your number lil' mama?"

I gave him my number then began to walk away until he hugged me. I embraced him, then looked at him. August looked back me hesitant. His lips brushed against mine, making me blush crazily.

"See you around August!" I smiled and waved at him.

He nodded then began to walk back to his posse. This night went better than expected. When I'm stripping it takes my mind off everything. I'm not going to be doing this for too long. I want to do something that my son can be proud of when he gets older. I just need a fresh new start.

.

.

.

( skipping into next month )

"My baby is going to be three tomorrow!" I screamed lifting Kaden into the air. He giggled and hugged my neck, not wanting me to drop him. "Are you excited for chuckee cheese?"

He nodded vigorously. "Pizza!"

"Lots of pizza and all the candy you want. Not too much, unless you want cavities."

"Yuck!"

"Exactly, well let's go see Cam Cam he says he got you an early birthday present." I smile then knock on the door. I almost got emotional because I once lived here with him.

Moments later the door opens and I mentally gasp, looking at him. Cam looks so different. He has a few tattoos and he's wearing a hat, which is rare. He moved aside and invited us inside with a small smile.

"Cam Cam!" Kaden greeted giving him a high five.

"What's up little man." Cameron says picking him up. Though we're not dating he stills keeps in contact with me about Kaden. I think it cute that they still have a connection with eachother.

I followed him into the living room where there was thousands of gifts laying around: a bike, game systems, toys, some educational things, and sneakers. I sat on the plush sofa while Kaden opened his gifts. Cam got on the sofa as well not sitting too close. I looked down twiddling with my thumbs and biting my lip. It just felt so weird being around him.

"How you been?" He asked breaking the silence.

I looked at him, smiling slightly. "Great. What about you?"

"Not that good..."

"Why?"

"It's not that easy getting over you Zonnique", Cam said laughing just a little.

I sighed. "I'm really sorry Cam, I never meant to hurt you intentionally. I'm trying to change I truly am.. I just..." I shook my head, silently crying. I'm a horrible person.

He pulled me into a big hug, making me cry even more. I'm just a whore. I don't want to be labled as that but it's the truth. Cam never did anything to deserve what I did to him. None of this would've ever happened if I wouldn't have met with Chris again. Then if I wouldn't have met with him Kaden never would have known who his real father is. It's bittersweet.

"Zonnique you're not a bad person you just have stop with these bad habits. You constantly hurt the people that love you the most. Your aunt kim, that guy Chris, and me."

He's right. I'm always pushing people away. It's just how I've been ever since my parents died. I don't know how to love. It's like everything is rotated around sex for me. My innocence is gone, it's never coming back. I've turned into something I vowed I'd never become.

"What am I going to do Cam?"

"Just find a fresh new start."

"I guess.. so are you coming to chuckee cheese tomorrow?" I asked wiping my eyes and face.

He shrugged, "Sure."

I nervously smiled, glancing over at Kaden. So Chris and Cameron in the same room tomorrow. Interesting.

~

Boring chapter... the next one will be Kaden's birthday party. ☺

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