don't think they know. ii

Twenty-five.

January 10th

12:00am

Everybody's like

He's no item

Please don't like em

He don't wife em

He one nights em

I never listened

No

I shoulda figured though

All that shit you was spittin'

So unoriginal

But it was you

So I was with it

Then tell you the truth

Wish we never did it...

I sat on my couch, Jhene Aiko blasting through the entire house. Her music spoke to me- it felt we were going through the same bullshit. I smoked my cigarette, blowing the smoke up towards the ceiling. That tobacco stench causes me to gag. I only smoke them relax myself and get my thoughts together. My mind was bottled up. There was so much going on- between dealing with son's death, Chris, and now August. I didn't mean to lead him on and I think he figured that out. I don't want to hurt him how I did Chris and Cameron. He's too much of a great friend and I'm not capable to love another. Honestly I'm still deeply in love with Christopher but we're not seeing eye to eye. We'll never see eye to eye because Kaden's gone and that's what frustrates me.

All I wanted was him to pull me in his arms but he did the total opposite. He stabbed me right in the heart. I can't be with Chris, I'll just keep blaming myself every day. I just need to get in touch with my inner self. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm labeled as this stripper who caused her own son's death and toyed with two guys hearts.

I miss being in Atlanta. I miss the dance scene. Before my parents died, I used to dance with my friends- Breaunna and Bahja. We called ourselves the OMG Girlz. It's funny because they both betrayed me just like Brooke. Fuck them. I chuckled then shook my head. It's time for some serious changes in my life.

Two weeks later....

I sent August a long text message saying thank you for everything and I love him so much. I've decided to leave- America. I'm starting fresh in the UK a place I always wanted to visit. I'm leaving all bullshit behind me and beginning my new journey. The therapy has helped along with the medication but I'm done. I have to find myself because Zonnique has long gone sailed away.

Goodbye America,

Goodbye Christopher,

Cameron,

and my love August.

____________________________________

Okaay so I'm debating whether this should be the last chapter then the sequel. But I really don't feel like making a new book so yeah... lol

How do y'all feel about Zonnique leaving the USA? .~.