In Hate, We Love

4. Slippers

I don't want to get up the following morning, but i do, for my dad. God why isnt he getting better...its been over a month.

My mum cant even do anything and shes a doctor.

He's too weak to do a lot of things now but insists on going to work and often refuses our help. I dont know what to do.

I sit and eat breakfast alone in the kitchen, both parents at work.

I let my head fall into my hands.

I think about Finn, instantly hit by the full force of what he had done and said.

The images of that night, wouldnt leave my mind all day and i couldnt stop thinking over what he had said the previous evening.

He doesnt know the full extent of my dads illness does, no one does except Wells and my mum.

I force myself to go about my day, purposely avoiding places where i might bump into Finn or Bellamy or Raven or even Wells. God i just want to be alone right now.

I eat lunch at home, having left the house very little all day.

As it grows late i just grow more and more agitated, starting to hope Wells will pop by to check on me. I know thats stupid, he's probably with his dad anyway.

Its late now so i doubt many people will be out in the halls, they will either be home or in the dining areas.

I decide to venture outside for a walk, only dressed in an oversized jumper and jeans, slippers on. At this time of night i dont care what anyone thinks, i know most people from this station as most people know me, the Ark is annoying that way, you always seem so closed in. People are easy to bump into.

It is as quiet as expected, the only sounds coming from my soft slippers shuffling against the floor and the constant hum of machinery at work.

I dare go closer to the communal areas, the distant sounds of conversation and laughter drifting towards me.

I stop walking.

i feel like i cant go anywhere its ridiculous!

Bellamy seems to hunt me down to torment me...Finn is always tracking me down and now Raven is hanging around with Bellamy? I hate all of it!

I sigh and turn around, walking away from the sounds of people. I stop at the end of the corridor and look out of the large window.

I can see Earth in the distance, maybe things were better down there...perhaps we can just go back now...

I sigh again, wrapping my arms around myself, my hands hiding inside the long sleeves of the jumper. Its cold at night.

"Are those, slippers?"

I laugh bitterly. Did i not expect this exact thing to happen? I am not even surprised, i just fold my arms tighter and smile to myself, too tired to do anything else or to argue.

"Yes." I reply.

"No parties tonight then princess?" Bellamy says as if shocked.

"Mm not tonight no, but i do have a ball to attend tomorrow" i say.

Bellamy is quiet for a moment and i wonder if he has just walked away, seen i'm not going to get annoyed, and left.

Honestly i couldnt care less for his torments right now.

"Save it for tomorrow would you? When i have the energy to argue back?" I sigh, not sure why i am acting this way or what Bellamy will think.

"Ah well it really is no fun unless i get to see your face go all red and your fists ball up in anger" he agrees in his usual smug voice.

Irritation bubbles a little in my stomach, but nothing compared to the usual reaction he can get from me.

I purposley let my arms fall to my sides, straighten all my fingers and give them a little wiggle. Bellamy laughs. "I guess you will just be dissapointed then!" I say.

I hear him walking closer until he is beside me at the window. I dont turn.

"So what exactly is it you are looking for?" He asks, folding his arms and frowning into space.

"Why would i be looking for something?" I ask, confused.

"Isnt that what you are always doing? Looking for another annoying question to ask, another reason to get in peoples way, another way to-"

I jab him in the side with my elbow and he staggers slightly.

"Shut up" i say, actually forcing away a smile. I'm not even annoyed...he isnt attacking me like he usually does, it feels almost light hearted. Now i am the one frowning. "What do you want?" I ask, suddenly suspicious.

"Must i want something to talk to you?" He asks, back at my side.

"Well you are being vaguely pleasent, you must want something" i sigh, ready for him to begin the harassing.

He doesnt, he shakes his head and says "I dont."

I turn my head to him slightly and raise one eyebrow, then it dawns on me.

"You heard Finn and I talking yesterday...you're here to mock me about it!" I say, my muscles tightening and i clench my teeth. I was stupid to think there was any light heartedness between us!

"Not to mock you, but i did happen to overhear...trouble in paradise it might seem" he says with a smug grin and i scoff, looking away grumpily.

"Some paradise" i mumble to myself but Bellamy hears anyway.

"He shouldnt have grabbed you like that" Bellamy states without feeling and a sense of uneasiness creeps through my body, what is he up to?

"What, no one can be horrid to me except you, is that it?" I say and Bellamy laughs, looking to his feet.

"Something like that" he nods and i laugh in disbelief and belief all at once.

"I have to go." I state in a civil manner, turning entirely to face him. I throw him a forced smile and shove past him, knocking into his shoulder as he had knocked into mine several times. I hear him stumble slightly, i feel him watch me go and i smile.