*Shadow*
I sit on the couch and watch the TV impassively. The volume is up loud, but I can still barely hear it. The only thing that I can hear is the lyrics of the song I sang in front of Theo. Maybe it was utterly foolish of me, but he had asked me to sing, and I couldn't tell him no. Not when he so completely owns my heart. I would do anything for that man, including forgetting about saving my own heart, to save his life.
Lilac is curled up with her head on my lap. I stoke her hair and I catch her faint sigh of contempt. I am truly giving her the life that i never had. i wonder if i will still get into Heaven if Theo decides to end himself, for helping this child be free of the hatred that her father holds toward her. i stare off into space, ignoring the movie and it plays in the background of my thoughts.
A light tap on my shoulder is the only thing that brings me back to reality. i look over into the handsome face of Theo. "I can go put her into the spare bed that there is. I hope you don't mind sharing it with her." i shake my head as he takes hold of her small frame. "I do not mind at all." he leaves the room and i once again enter my own thoughts, but it is not long before he joins me again.
This time though, he sits closer to me on the couch, and i glance over to him. He smiles down at me and i cannot help but smile back. "You have an amazing singing voice. How did that happen?" he asks me and i begin to play with the hem of the long, knee length shirt that i wear. "I had always loved singing, even while i was alive. After i died and was forced into being an Angel, i picked up a few tricks. There are a lot of rumors and legends that say Angels all sing beautifully, but that's just not true. Many cannot sing at all."
i smile shyly at him from under my lashes. "My voice was great before i died, and i am sure that if i put my mind to it, i would have been able to do something amazing with my voice. i could have helped the world." i say wistfully, wishing that i hadn't had the life i did. i really could have made something of myself if not for all the damage that my family did too me. If only my life hadn't been hell.
i sigh and lean back into the couch, closing my eyes to fight off the tears that threaten to fall. My life could have been amazing if only i had a decent home life. Yet i also never would have met Theo, and if i had, i would have been a few too many years older. And i never would have met Lilac. There's a bad side to this life, and a great side.
An arm snakes around my waist and pulls me into the heat of another body. i open my eyes to find Theo holding tightly to me. i smile sweetly up into his wonderfully sculpted face. He smells magical and i begin to drift off into sleep, hoping to find a peaceful rest in his scent...
i wake the next morning, lying in bed next too Lilac. She snores lightly and i giggle. i get up and slip off my night shirt. It is too hot for jeans at the moment, and i am sure that Theo is still sleeping, so i only tug my work shirt over my head. The hem falls to about my mid thigh, and the fabric is soft and silky. i leave my hair down for now, as i make my way to the kitchen to prepare for the day.
i begin to cook eggs and toast, and i smile at the delicious scent of coffee. i sing softly to myself, but not the same eerie song that i've always sung. i sing along to the radio, as music from my life blares. Suddenly, the kitchen door opens and Theo stops dead in his tracks. His eyes meet mine before briefly traveling down to my bare legs.
"Why are you not in pants?" he asks, sounding all business man. i look at his attire and feel under dressed in more ways than one. He wears a pressed suit and a beautiful green tie that complements his eyes perfectly. "It was very hot when i woke up. i did not know you were up sir. But i should have known better than to slack off when it came to my uniform Mr. Parker." i speak in my most professional voice i can muster.
He smiles at me and comes to stand in front of me. "My, my, how you can be so professional, and yet so incredibly adorable." he kisses my cheek lightly and i stare at him in shock. I did not know that we had come to this point. We cannot be at this point, because i need to focus on Lilac, and on saving Theo. But maybe by showing him how much I truly love him will save him.
"Mr. Parker, should you be showing this affection toward your maid?"
"I've been meaning to talk to you about that..."
"You aren't going to fire me are you?"
I can feel my heart begin beating rapidly. If i am not here to save him, i won't get back into Heaven and he will be dead. And what will become of Lilac? She cannot be left alone, not at this young age, not after all of this. But when i look at Theo, he's shaking his head. "Not actually firing you, but I don't want you to be my maid. I want you to be my girlfriend."
My jaw drops open and I stare at him dumfounded. He actually wants to date me? "Shadow, have i told you how much you mean to me? HAve i told you about how, when you first showed yourself to me, i became determined to find you? You have owned my heart since that very moment and i will not give you up." his words bring a blush to my cheeks and i lean into him.
"You have done so much for me, and i love you dearly." I take a moment to realize something. "I haven't saved you yet. Clearly, or i wouldn't be here anymore. Does that mean you still want to die?" i ask and he casts his gaze downward. "But why? You know that you are worthy of love. Why would you still want too die?" he sighs and moves away from me. i stare into his large, sad cat green eyes as the tears start to slide down his smooth, blemish free face.
"Because Shadow, i know that once i am over my wish to destroy myself, that i will lose you. How could i possible deal with that? Losing the love of my life will break me, and i will crumble into the darkness once more. I'll be right back where i started, but this time, without anyone to save me."
