2012 COPY RIGHTS - ALL RIGHTS RESEVERD
***Still going through editing***
We finally made it to the hospital but before we got out Jayden turned to me “babe before we go in there you gotta calm down.” I breath in and held it in for a second then slowly let it and nodded “ok thank you Jayden. I really needed someone thanks for not dropping my ass when I went in to panic mode.” He gave me a soft kiss and ran his hand through my hair lightly “babe I’m not leaving you. I told you that I wasn’t leaving, and I wasn’t lying to you.” He said softly. I kissed him softly and then we both got out the car and walked to the receptionist. “Can you please show me to Anthony martin” I said my body shaking with nerves. Jayden sensed this and rubbed my back lightly calming me down some. “Only family can see him Hun I’m sorry” she said softly. “I’m his sister mam” I said. “Ok but you still can’t see him he’s in surgery right now but you could go wait in the waiting room he some family members are in there right now.” She said her voice thick with sympathy. I just nodded and me and Jayden walked to the waiting room. When we reached the waiting room I could see people from my brothers group sitting around the waiting room. It was a sight to see with big ass thugs sitting around looking intimidating as hell, but I know all of them have a soft spot for me, well after I had to get their respect one way or other. I knew they would protect me with their life if they had to, they all looked after me as their little sister just like Omar does. Were a family because most of us in our group doesn’t have anyone other than each other so we treat each other like family. “Promise” I heard someone exclaim my name and someone pick me up and spin me around before I could even catch what was going on. Finally I could feel myself being lowered to the floor and I turned to see it was cedric. ”hey cc” I said softly. “Damn promise I knew you were going to take his hard but look at you. YOU LOOK A MESS” he exclaimed. I raised an eyebrow at him staring him down “haha umm you look beautiful?” he said nervously as it came out more of a question. I just shook my head and turned to look at Jayden who looked like he was ready to burst with laughter “jay this is cc, cc jay” I introduced “Uhg promise you can’t go introducing with a name like cc” cedric said his face and voice full of disgust. “Ay what up man I’m Jayden” Jayden said as he shook his head clearly amused. “Cedric NOT cc” he said shooting me a glare as I shook my head and laughed a little. “Cedric where’s my brother at” I said after I looked around to see him not here “oh he left a little before you came to straighten everything that happened out” he said and I nodded in understandment clearly knowing what he meant by that. After we sat down and chatted a bit mostly about memories of Anthony and the boys trying to lift my spirits up, a doctor came out with a clip board walked into the room. “Family of Anthony martin” he said. I stood “umm yes how is he can I see him.” I asked . He gave me a look filled with sympathy and pity from the look he gave me alone made my heart stop expecting the worst. “mam I’m sorry but one of the bullets hit one of his main organs and the hit to the head cause him to have internal bleeding we tried our hardest to stop it but It just wouldn’t I’m sorry again but he didn’t make it through the surgery” he finished quietly. Numbness that’s all I felt. I couldn’t feel anything not my body, my mind, or a speck of and emotion. “Can I still see him” I asked when I found my voice but it was empty and cold. He hesitatly nodded “umm sure room 5-103 and I’m sorry again for your lost” he said and gave me a small pity smile and left the room. I forced my feet to move I had to see him, I just had to. Walking there I couldn’t help but think why him. Anthony was always the one who was smiling. When I didn’t have anyone to call a family he was always there for me. When I needed a friend he was the one I could always go to. Anthony could always relate to me. His dad left him and his mom when he was born not wanting any kids, his mom was strung out on drugs because he was her first love and later died of an overdose of meth when he was 14. He had to grow up then and that’s how we met. He found my brother and needed the money to live. But he didn’t let anything of his past and how he had to live break him. Walking up to his door I hesitated for a second before going into the room. It was so cold, and I could see my best friend’s lifeless body laying on the bed. I walked up to him and just looked at him. The smile that I loved so much and took comfort in wasn’t there. “Why Anthony , why would you leave me. We were supposed to be with each other through everything. You were suppose to be my protector. Anthony you were my life vest so I could stay above the water so I wouldn’t drown but you left me, now what” as i ranted on, the song hurt by Christina Aguilera rang softly in my ears
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today, ooh, ooh
I would hold you in my arms, I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh
“I hate you Anthony martin why would you leave me” I yelled as I sobbed “I hate you” I whispered and walked up to his side and kneeled down and put head on his shoulder and cried. “I hate you because your making me say goodbye when I don’t want to, I’m not ready yet. Why would you do this to me” I said and I let it all out I cried for the lost of my best friend, my brother, my rock, my protector, the only person who I could fully depend on.
Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh
If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
By hurting you
~ Good? Bad? You like it please tell me ~
- I know I haven’t really brought up Anthony but you could kind of see how promise feels for him. I feel evil for killing him though. :'(
*comment&VOTE please*
