2012 COPY RIGHTS - ALL RIGHTS RESEVERD
***Still going through editing***
*3 Weeks Later
It’s been three weeks since my best friend left me and today’s his funeral. I know you would think 3 weeks is a long wait but I wanted the whole crew to be at the funeral. I wanted to have my whole family together to say goodbye to our lost sibling. Doesn’t matter how much I prepped myself for this day I still can’t say bye to him. I haven’t really eaten anything these past weeks and every night, Jayden has to hold me while I cry myself to sleep. I refuse to let anyone see me in this state, only Jayden has. And to top everything off all I have done for the past two weeks is throw up and have the worst mood swings ever. This last week has been the worst though the vomiting knocked up a notch and I’ve been craving the weirdest things. I’m not a fool I already know where this is headed so that is why I’m in this bathroom with a pregnancy test waiting for the results. I took three but I’m going to wait until the last one is done before I look. I looked down at the time on my phone to see I had two minutes left. I never thought this would be me. I wouldn’t have thought ever in my life that I would be the girl sitting in her bathroom 3 hours before her best friend’s funeral waiting on results to see if she’s pregnant. A ringing brought me out of my thoughts to let me know that I could go look at the test now. Walking over to the side of the tub I picked them up and looked at all three of them to see they all said the same thing. Positive.
Walking out the bathroom after sitting in the bathroom for another hour and a half I walked out to go get ready. I don’t know how to feel right now. My mind is so clouded over I don’t know what to do. Right then a thought came to mind, how the fuck am I going to tell Jayden. I just cut all thinking off from there I can’t start stressing right now. So I walked to my walk in closet and went to the back and pulled out a tight fitting short black dress that came to mid thigh and had long laced sleeves. Then I pulled out my black 4 inch heels I got from bakers and put everything on the bed. I already took a shower so I went to my dresser and started on my hair. I thought it was time for a change so I got my scissors and cut my hair to the front into front bangs. When I was done and looked at myself I looked good. I’m a new woman now. In the process of letting my best friend go, and going to have a baby. Because I wasn’t going to kill my baby or give it away. After I straightened the rest of my hair I started on my make up. All I put on was eyes liner thick mascara and lip gloss. I went and put on my dress and put on Anthony’s bracelet. After that I heard my front door opening. I knew it way Jayden because he got his self a spare key to my room and gave me one to his. My thoughts were confirmed as he opened my room door and stood behind me as I looked at him through the mirror. He walked up behind me and kissed my neck lightly and turned me around so he could look in my eyes. He got something from his pocket and I looked down to see he had a small box in his hand. When he opened it, there were diamond studs that were already shinning from the lighting in the room. He tilted my head and pulled out the earrings and put them in for me. After he got them in and fastened he picked up my hand reached in his pocket and slid a diamond studded ring and slipped it on my middle finger on my left hand. All I could do was look at the ring he just slid on my finger and thinks of how much I love this man in front of me, and yes I finally accepted the fact that I love him but I’m just too damn stubborn to tell him yet and I’m scared he might run off after I tell him. But thinking about it now after I tell him about the baby he might leave then and not give two shits about me or the baby. After thinking that my eyes started to tear up and I already knew that damn well was about to break because of these damn hormones. Still keeping my eyes on the ring he flipped my hand over, carved into the ring in cursive it read Jayden’s promises. I finally looked up at him about to tell him about the baby but he beat me to it “promise this ring is to show you how much I feel for you. I keep telling you how much I feel for you but you being the dummy you are and won’t believe me. Promise I don’t plan on leaving you for shit and you need to get that into your hard ass head. I gave you this so you could see some of how much I feel for you. Promise.” He paused and searched my face look for something “promise I love you” he said in his deep rough voice. My heart swelled as I heard him tell me this. I know it’s hard for him to suppress his feelings. I just hope they stay the same after I tell him the big news.” Jayden” I said softly as I looked up to him. “Fuck” he said and turned his head and was about to walked away when I pressed my hand to his shoulder. Why was he trying to walk away from me “Jayden why the fuck are you walking away from me” I said with a little hurt in my voice. “Well clearly you don’t feel the same why you didn’t tell me you loved me back” he said his voice rougher and his light hazel eyes getting darker by the second as he looked at me. I noticed that every time he was mad his eyes would get dark almost black and when he was happy or at his peak of pleasure they turned to like a honey brown. I loved his eyes. “Jayden I never said that I didn’t feel the same way it’s just the news I’m finna tell you might make you change your mind and leave” I said softly as I dropped my gaze from his. I heard him sigh and lift my chin up so I could look at him “damn it promise why the fuck do you think I’m finna leave you. Didn’t you hear me I said that I fucking love you I’m not going to leaving stop being so fucking dumb why would I” He said I could hear the anger in his voice but I could tell he was trying to hold it back.“BECAUSE IM PREGNANT” I yelled I could feel my own anger building up. He stood there just looking at me frozen. I laughed humorlessly “what you got to say now Jayden” I said and glared at him. He finally came out of his shock and looked at me “you still think I’m going to leave your ass I’m not leaving my fucking baby” he said could tell he was losing control of his anger. He hates when people yell at him it crosses his borders and all hell breaks loose. “Jayden please I know damn well you’re not going to want to stay with me now that I’m pregnant that holds you back from your life.” I said and rolled my eyes. I felt him grab my shoulders and slam me into the wall not so much that he hurt me. “I’m not leaving you. Your ass is MINE. And I don’t give a fuck about what you have to say about it. You better not look at no other dude or touch them in any affectionate way other than friendly. If a dude touches you I will kill them. Promise Gordon you are mine and I’ll be damned if you leave me. And this baby”he said and touched my stomach. “ I love as much as you I’m not leaving what’s mine so get that into your hard ass head” he said his grip on my shoulders tightening as he gave me a rough possessive kiss. When he pulled back he left me gasping for air “now are we on the same page” he said his voice extra deep and rough and had huskiness to it. I nodded weakly still trying to catch my breath. “Jayden I love you too” I said softly and wrapped my arms around his neck and raised up on my tiptoes and buried my head in his neck. He picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist and buried his head in my hair and just held me. In the next hour I would have to go see my best friend for the last time. As the thought passed my mind I held on to Jayden tighter refusing to cry I have been doing that way too much and I have to be strong today. Jayden held me tighter and then I knew I had to stop being so stubborn and let him in all the way because I can’t keep him out and loss him too.
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