Cashby Cashby

When You Can't Sleep At Night

I was watching everything around me happen in slow motion. The blonde hair girl stood with a smile on her face. An evil smirk almost.. Austin was infuriated and was yelling obscenities. I was standing there, frozen in place.

The man I had grown to love wasn't even divorced, and by the sounds of it he didn't even know. She had tricked him. They were both arguing and I couldn't even hear. I could see, but not hear a word. It's like I wasn't in the room I was an outsider on the inside.. I hated it. So I decided to get out.

I slowly walked upstairs and put on some black jeans and one of Austin's shirts. I walked downstairs and calmly put my shoes on and went outside for a drive. They hadn't even noticed I left.

I calmly drove down the road and tried to collect some substantial thoughts. I couldn't process what was happening. I shook my head hoping my thoughts would come together but they just wouldn't.

I drove up to one place; Pete's. I walked inside and sat down at the bar and he looked at me surprised.

"What are you doing here, Alan? It's almost closing time."

"Austin is still married." I said with no expression. Pete just nodded and proceeded to hand me a glass of whiskey 'on the house.' I held it up to him as a sort of cheers and drank it letting the liquid burn my throat. I looked around to see the place was empty. I sighed.

"Wanna talk about what's bothering you?"

"I don't know man.. I feel bad for Austin because she put him through so much pain and it's just... She just shows up and says that their still married? It's not fair."

"Girls can be a handful.. God I hope my daughter doesn't turn out to be one of those floozies."

I nodded at him in understanding. If I had a daughter I wouldn't want her to be like Gillele. If I ever have a daughter. I would love to someday... Ugh listen to me.

"Pete can I have another one?"

"Sure buddy."

I drank in silence.. But after the fifth drink I started getting chatty..

"What am I doing here, man?! I should be in bed with my loving boyfriend but I- I'm here, and she's there, and he's not here, but I'm here, right?"

"Alan, your drunk."

"I know! I gotta go!"

I reached in my pockets for my keys and they weren't there....

"What the hell? Did I walk?"

"No Alan I took your keys no need for you to be driving at a time like this."

I groaned and went to stand up and turn around but stumbled over my own feet. I fell down and collided on the ground and just laid there.. Then I started crying..

"Why hasn't Austin come to get me yet?"

"I don't know Alan."

"Austin is with his wife and I'm here drunk and homeless!"

Then I heard the familiar soothing voice of the one man I love..

"Alan you are not homeless."

I sat up and looked at him but my vision was blurry.

"Come on, let's go home."

He helped me stand up and lead me outside and I stumbled around to the car.

"Austie, where's your wife?"

He scoffed and said, "she's no wife... She's nothing but a- never mind."

Austin's POV

"She's no wife... She's a- never mind."

I had to watch what I say. I don't want to lose my temper. I was going to call her a bad name but how could I? I did love her... I devoted my life to her after all, but it was obviously a mistake.. Ugh whatever. She agreed to go home so I could get Alan. I just wanted Alan he always makes me feel better.. When he's sober. I looked at my poor ginger.

I love him I really do but when I need his love and cuddles the most he freaks out and runs away. Like he always expects me to save him...

"Austie?"

"Yes?"

"I love you. Okay? Just know that.."

There he is... "I love you too, princess."

I squeezed his thigh and he smiled at me. We made it home and I carried him up to bed and undressed him. I laid down in bed with him and he snuggled up to me immediately. He was warm and... Smelled of whiskey. I sighed and kissed his hair anyways.. Tomorrow is going to be rough so I might as well enjoy the time we have now.