My fault - His fault

Full circle

For day by day it's power grows,
And when at last it's face it shows,
The past and present tales will meet-
The evil circle is complete...
~Emily Rodda (Somehow felt it kinda fits the chapter)

Niall lay wide awake in his bed. It seemed it was becoming more and more difficult to close his eyes as the days passed. Sometimes, as he lay there, he wished he was back in prison. He hated that he thought that way, but at least in prison he slept. At least in prison there was a good excuse for each fear he had... although it seems that he feared more now then when he was in prison.

Niall slowly got out of bed and snuck out of his room. He walked past Zayn, who was sleeping soundly on the couch, grabbed his key for the house off the kitchen bench, and left.

He caught a Taxi to the studio and let himself in. He walked straight to the elevator and pressed the 'up' button. A few seconds later the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. He stared into the small room 'Do it! Come on! Just get on. Don't be such a baby!' He walked to the elevator and pushed a button. He wasn't even sure what floor he pushed. He held tightly to the side rails. He began having a panic attack the second the doors started closing. By the time he had gone up two floors he was breathing so hard he was almost hyperventilating. He quickly pushed the 'doors open' button and exited the elevator.

He walked down the hall to the stairway. Once he got there he seemed to have no energy left. He sunk down into a corner, brought his knees to his chest, and began rocking back and forth. He wanted to scream, he wanted to release all the pain he felt... but he couldn't.

"You don't cry in prison," he began whispering to himself as he rocked, "you don't cry in prison. You don't cry in prison,"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry had been practicing becoming visible when Niall left the house. Curiously he followed him to the studio. He watched silently as Niall entered the elevator and slipped in after him.

When Niall began to have a panic attack, Harry didn't know what to do. He couldn't appear or speak to Niall incase it made it worse, but he couldn't just watch his friend suffer either. He wrapped his arms around Niall as an attempt at comfort. As Niall began to panic and panic more, Harry began to panic too. He was out of his depth and he didn't know what he could do.

By the time Niall got out, Harry was on the verge of having a panic attack of his own. Taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, Harry followed Niall to the staircase. And when Niall started rocking, Harry couldn't help it. He started crying.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Niall wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there, curled up and talking to himself. But when he heard footsteps approaching, he knew he had to get up and leave. He stood up slowly, his body still very weak. He held onto the stair railing as he made his way back down to the first floor.

When he got back home he was glad to see Zayn still fast asleep. He looked over at the clock and saw it was six am. He went back to his room and lay down.

"Where were you?" An angry Liam whispered as he walked into the room.

Niall was startled by him, "I... I couldn't sleep. I just walked around for a while. Where were you?"

"I was looking for you! I just got back about a minute ago. I went to see if you were in the bathroom before coming back here."

"Well, I'm fine. Go back to bed!"

"You were gone for four hours! I thought something bad had happened to you." Liam took a deep breath, he couldn't let his fear make him angry and hurt Niall. "Listen to me, Ni, you are anything but fine. You haven't been fine since you got out of prison... I'm worried Ni, we're all worried. Would you just talk to me? I want to help!"