Those Eyes | joshifer au [DISCONTINUED]

Your Heart's Been Taken

Those Eyes

Chapter 13: Your Heart's Been Taken

Dedicated to kikord for the constructive comment she left! Thank you because I honestly appreciate criticism  :) x

Josh's PoV

Oka. I'm going to ask her. But there's one problem, one slight flaw:

How do I ask her?

When Kat convinced me to ask her out, it kind of slipped my mind that I would have to go up to her and utter six words, at least, to her face. And honestly, it frightened me; there's too much that could go wrong: she could laugh at me, thinking it was a joke (a likely outcome); she could reject me bluntly (another likely situation) or she could be so disgusted that our friendship that is so strong could go up in flames, it's only memory remaining as ashes on the ground (dramatic but still as likely.)

Ugh, I just need to grow a pair and ask her! I'll never know otherwise, and I have a feeling that if I don't, I'll regret it. I need to call her to meet up. Just as I reach over to my phone, I hear it ring, Jennifer's photo lighting up the screen. I take a second to admire the image before answering the call.

"Hey Jen, I was just about to call you!"

"Oh my gosh Josh, I have something to tell you." She has something to say to me? I wonder what it is. I tell her to go on as I wait for the answer. "Nick just asked me out, and I said yes!"

My heart drops. Nick asked her out? I should have seen it coming, after what happened at the dance, but I didn't expect it so soon. I can hear Jen rambling on about how it's really sudden and they haven't hung out a lot but she really does like him, and it takes everything to not let my voice falter when I say, "I'm so happy for you, congratulations." She squeals a bit more and chirps gleefully about it, her every word punching me in the stomach.

Eventually she asks me, "So why were you going to call me?" to which I answer, "No reason in particular", before excusing myself from the conversation with promises that I'll talk with her later.

My fears have turned into reality. I knew that he would ask her out, I knew it, yet I built up a tower of hope on foundations that were not strong or stable at all. I was foolish really to even believe I had a chance, and now the hurt is unbearable.

I end up spending an hour or so on my bed wallowing in my own sorrow; thoughts such as 'you're so stupid' and 'why would she like you anyway?' filling every nook and cranny of my mind, bringing down my self confidence. I'm so lost in the depths of my emotions that I don't even notice the presence of another being in my room until a hand comes down right in front of my face, bringing me out of my reverie.

"Hey bro, where are you so lost?" Connor asks me, perching on the end of the bed. I shrug my shoulders as if to say 'nothing really', but I am shot a look of disbelief that makes me speak the truth. "I'm a bit upset because someone I may like has sort of become, unavailable."

"Jen's got a boyfriend?" he asks, "Damn, I thought you'd end up together." I sit up in disbelief.

"How do you know I was talking about Jen." He rolls his eyes, "Because it's so damn obvious that you like her, but it seems that she doesn't see it."

"What do I do then Con?"

"First of all, stop being so depressed- it's not going to solve anything now, is it? And secondly, they might not work out for long. Have a little hope, okay?"

I look at him in surprise- since when has he been so wise? 

"Thanks bro," I say in gratitude. He smiles, and exits the room.

----

The days that followed weren't as easy as I'd hoped they'd be; they've only deepened the hurt by showing me how much I've fallen for her. Every time I saw her, he'd be there. I could always see them smiling at each other with contentment, or they'd be holding hands, their hands seemingly slotting together perfectly, or his arm would find it's place around her waist, encapsulating her. Even though they weren't officially boyfriend and girlfriend, they acted like they were, which made things worse. If they're like this now, how much more 'coupley' would they get when they reached that phase in the relationship?

I keep reprimanding myself for not making a move earlier. I should have been able to understand how I really felt earlier; what kind of idiot can't comprehend how they feel? Obviously me. 

I can't help but think that it shouldn't be Nicholas, it should be me. I should be the one to hold her hand. I should be the one who drives her home. I should be the one placing a kiss on her lips.

I loved her first after all.

Actually, it's not love, not yet at least, but I can guarantee that I feel deeper for her than that Nick guy. But no matter how much I complain, I know that whatever is meant to be will happen- maybe Jen and I are never to be together. Maybe it was fate that her heart was taken by someone else instead of me. But thanks to my brother, there is still a flicker of hope within me, a part of me that thinks that it's possible that one day, I could steal Jennifer Lawrence's heart.

And it's a part of me that I know will never die.

AN: I know, I'm a horrific person who hasn't updated. But as always, I was swamped by revision and exams. I still have a few left, but it's my birthday, and this is like a mini celebration.

I am so blessed to have your support guys, and I do appreciate every one of you, even though it feels like I don't.

After the first week of July, things finally slow down for me, so this summer, I intend to finish ths story that's been going on for far too long.

Lots of love to all of you! x