This Means War - Harry&Alice book 2.

Chapter 20

"You broke my heart,

But I still love you with all the broken pieces."

___

#Alice's POV# 

I got this choked feeling, like my mind was shutting off my ability to talk because it knew if I did, I'd sound like an idiot, my voice cracking as I try my best not to cry so following my mind and not my heart, I say nothing as I hold everything back, staring at a torn Harry with blood shot eyes and tear stained cheeks. I'd done this to him and I shouldn't care, I'm not allowed to care, but I do. His words, they just, ripped me apart and left me vulnerable and broken.

"I'm too tired, Ally. I'm too tired to hold on. I'm sick of change- No, I'm sick of you being someone you're not and I really don't have the strength to pretend any more. I love you so much, Ally and I always will but, I... I can't. Me, you.. Us, it's over, okay? Maybe we'll talk about us again when you get your life straight. Maybe." 

I smile sadly at him, instead and nod in understanding. I know what he means and I have to except that and like they say, if you love something set it free and if it comes back, it's meant to be.

For now, I'll forget everything. I'll push everything I want to be aside and tell Harry. I'm not sure what I'll tell him, but I will tell him.

"I'll pretend to be okay for you," I begin "I'll be strong, I'll act like you don't exist and you will do the same. It'll work that way, it'll be easy but when we walk past each other or accidentally make eye contact, I can't promise I won't cry or just stop for a second to admire you and all that we've had. I know how things like this work, I'll tell myself I'm over you, I'll forget about you for a while, I'll manage to leave my room and smile a bit but then I'll see you and it'll all come crashing back down because with all my heart, I love you." I chuckle through tears I didn't know were falling "I know that a million years could go by and I'll still be sat there smiling because of you, because of everything about you, from the worn down ripped jeans to the awful jokes. I'll sit there and I'll smile before bursting into tears because you said always, and I was stupid to believe that, stupid to believe that we'd ever work. Maybe after all this, I should just leave, forget all this ever happened and that's where my plans shatter."

"Why...?" He whispers, his green eyes moving all over my face in curiousity.

"Because I don't want to forget. I'm not saying I wish we never met or I hate you because that would be lies and I don't lie. I could never wish you away, you are a part of me Harry, like it or not, I love you with every fibre of my being and I can't wish away all that- that raw emotion, an emotion at it's peak, we're only at the beginning, Harry and together or not my love will only grow for you, everytime I see you smile, it'll grow, hear you laugh, it'll grow, taste your cooking, it'll grow, touch anything of yours, it'll grow. They say nothing lasts forever but when you're a vampire, nothing dies. I keep on falling for you with everything you do. Even when you hurt me, you do it so softly as if you're scared of something and it just adds and adds until I run out of space to list the reasons I love you and I can't forget a single one of those reasons because if I do, you'll just keep showing me how perfect you are and it hurts me, hurts me how I make you so tired, how I've made you give up and I'm hurt for hurting you and I know I have to wake up and realize it isn't about me any more it's about everyone around me, I know I'm hurting myself as much as you but it's hard, I struggle to keep her down, I want her out the way, I want her to not exist Harry but she- she takes over!" I shout the last words "She's hurting you and I hate her! I hate myself for being her! I'm going mental Harry and it's because of her, I can't love you and you can't love me, it's impossible now. It's all mucked up and it can't be fixed; it's my fault and I know, I have to stop letting myself win and that doesn't even make sense!" I laugh crazily. "We can't even be friends because-"

"Why can't we be friends?" He looks sad at the news.

"Because I can't be just friends with someone I'm madly in-love with, Harry. It doesn't work that way."

"It hurts to know you think like that," He says "I know that having to hold back we'll be hard but I want to be able to talk to you, I want to be able to make you laugh or just smile and I can't do that if you want to ignore each other, I don't want to be strangers again, Ally. I can't deal with that. It's not okay and I know that but I need to know that you'll be with me forever, in a relationship or not, I have to know that what we had, we will always have. That's all I want Ally. I want you to prove that you're not Aurora and you're still my girlfriend, my real love, my future wife, my girl, my Alice. I want you to prove that but I know you can't because, honestly, you're not even trying."

By now, I was choking on my words I was crying so hard, I've broken him big time but he's breaking me also. "I get it, you're broken, I've broken you. You've broken me too, okay?  I'm surprised I even have a heart left to love you with, but I do, it's hardly there though, I love you with the remains and I just can't do that any more, sure being your friend sounds great and being your girlfriend sounds amazing, it really does but listen to me when I say, I'm losing it Harry. I can't do it any more, I can't stop her taking over, she completely shuts me down and I'm screaming for her to let me out but she's cold, powerful and heartless. She's over-taking me Harry and I can't be anything to you if I can't control her because I'll just keep continuing to break you and I can't live like that."

"Who's taking over?" I know that he knows who and he knows that I know that but he wants to hear it, he wants to here it isn't me, it's not me that took out a whole train carriage, shouted at CeCe for calling me Alice, he wants to know I'm not changing, he wants to know it isn't me.

"Her! Aurora! She's strong and I can't, I just can't." I drop to my knees in the wilted, yellow grass and cry into my hands. The others walked on a while ago, when Harry came over to me. I hear him sit in front of me.

#Harry's POV#  

"Alice," I say softly. "How are you fighting her now?"

"She's- She's letting me." She chokes.

"Alice. I want you to really listen to me, okay?" She nods "This isn't supposed to be happening and this is really bad now, I'm not overly sure but promise you'll keep fighting her for me?" I ask and she nods. "Alice, I think you're possessed."

She drops her hands from her face and slowly rises her head; her eyes are pure red and her fangs out. She tilts her head to the side, glaring at me.

"Finally," She whispers. "I thought you'd never get it."

---

IF ANY CONFUSION, IT'S LIKE ALICE HAS BEEN POSSESSED BY THE GHOST OF HERSELF, IT'LL BE EXPLAINED SOON. It's weird but I'm fed up of being accused of copying other peoples stories when I rarely, if not never, read other vampire books for that exact reason, so I'd like to see you try and say I've copied this and yes, before you ask, I am pissed off because never once have I even thought about copying an idea.

Next update: Friday 17th

Thank you and good bye.