Look At Me

~Heart Consultation~

Nathalia's P.O.V.

I sat in my bed as I looked at the scattered envelopes, letters and invitations in my bed, we already sent all the invitations for our guests and entourage but there were more invitations questionably left. I have no idea why but I think something might have been wrong when they're printing the notes.

I was still really weak and silent ever since Flint decided to leave me alone at the restaurant 4 days ago, I can't believe that my wedding will be already held tomorrow. It seems like I can't go on if I can't solve my problem with Flint, I don't care if Xavier even gets mad at me for reaching out multiple times to Flint, all I want is Flint to talk to me without getting mad or avoiding me.

I can't seem to comprehend everything as I stare at all these papers and letters, it was beautifully designed but I can't understand anything as if my brain refuses to make me believe in reality. a knock from the door stole my attention as I stared at it intently, not knowing who was behind it.

"Dad" I spoke just when he opened the door a bit and peeked his head, he saw me and knocked on the door making me laugh.

"Did I probably interupted you?" He asked as he finally entered my room and closed the door behind him, he looked at me with a small smile. I'm still feeling really down because I can't help but feel restless when I know that something big will happen tomorrow.

"No dad, what brought you here?" He sighed as his eyes looked at me in sympathy, I stacked all the papers and invitations to make a space for my father. He looked so serious which makes me think thay we'll have a really deep and heart to heart conversation.

"Even if I know that you don't want to talk about it, I have a feeling that my daughter needs her father today. Is this seat taken?" He pointed at the space beside me in which I just smiled softly.

"Please have a seat" I uttered as motioned him to sit, we sat by each other side by side without talking for a minute. I think I just needed some time to relax and calm down and with my dad's presenc beside me helps me to also calm down.

"You're going to get married tomorrow, time surely flies too fast" Dad spoke but I just continued to listen, I just want him to stay with me and help me sort out with my problems.

"You're going to get married but your thoughts were still a mess, you heart isn't fully calm and your brain isn't thinking the right thing, this is about Flint isn't it?"

"Yes, I can't help but think of him everytime. I feel a bit guilty and sad knowing that I was the reason why Flint is currently avoiding me" Is it me or am I just getting crazy? I'm getting married to a man tomorrow and yet I'm thinking of another person, another man than him. What kind of woman am I?

"Does Xavier know all of this? Or is he ignorant about you liking his best friend?" If there's anyone who I should avoid because I'm scared he might know what I'm thinking of, it's Xavier, he almost know everything that's running in my mind. It's as if he knows how to control me and read my mind.

"He knows everything, even when we were still in high school. He and Flint and friends and still are until now" Xavier almost knows everything about me now, I can't hide anything from him anymore.

"Then are you perhaps telling me that you chose the wrong man to marry? That you're planning to back off from the wedding?" Back off from the wedding? Can I even do such a thing? Yes I am getting married, but is he the right man for me? Questions like these kepts on running inside my mind without me finding any answers....

"Who does your heart choose? Was it the one who can make you happy or the one who can trully love you?" Who was Flint and Xavier there? Happinness or love? To whom was those two characteristics describe?

"Is it a sin to fall in love? Are we supposed to be put in such a situation like this?" I asked my father with tears almost falling from my eyes, his eyes softened and held both of my hands and tucked a fringe behind my ear.

"Love isn't a sin, love is a blessing but once this love becomes a lie everything would collapse and will leave you with nothing but sadness. It's the same with marriage, you have to choose the right person for you, to choose why you want to spend the rest of your life with him"

"Marriage is such a big deal Nathalia, this isn't a game where you can take back what you've already forgotten or let go"

"Think of whom is the person who could give you warmth, can make you feel comfortable, he's the right person for you"