Divergent High

Regret

Tris' POV

After the events in the gym, I quickly got changed and tended to my wounds as best as I could. Lauren's blood had dried onto my skin and there wasn't anything more that I wanted off of me. The rusty stain it left begin made me want to forget. I wanted to pretend that I hadn't just done that.

The look in Four's eyes once I told him scared me; it made me feel more vulnerable than I ever had before. I thought he would feel proud of me, that he would congratulate me and encourage me. Not look down on me and chastise my actions. He told me to attack her shoulder and knees, he asked me to do this. It's all so confusing! He wanted this, surely?

I left my thoughts behind and continued to leave the changing room. My shoes squeaked along the corridors as I made my way through the school and turned down some corners I hadn't had time to see yet.

The fluorescent lights beamed down and almost made me feel like I was somewhere different to the high school I had joined hours before. The silence calmed me, and left me to think; reflect. The pain in my arms, and along my chest had only begun to reveal themselves. All of the adrenaline I was operating on had began to leave my body and left me weaker.

A few short minutes later, once I had sunk onto the floor, footsteps found me and continued to come closer. They became softer and more timid as they approached. I didn't have the energy to lift my head and see, but the voice soon woke me out of my daze.

"Tris...I-" Four began softly. I looked up, only to find the weight of concern hanging upon his features; dragging them down.

"What are you doing here, Four?" I said, with a certain degree of both vulnerability and strain.

"I needed to find you; to see you. You shouldn't have ran off like that. I didn't know what to do, or where to look. I was worried, Tris," He rushed out.

"Oh really?" I laughed out bitterly.
"Considering, you couldn't bare to look at me earlier, that's rich! Look, I know what I did was wrong, but no matter what you will say can make me feel any worse than I do right now."

"Is that why you think I'm here, Tris?" He asks, more softly than I thought he would at first.
"You think I'm here to play teacher now?" He says, as if it pains him to do so.

"I don't know anymore. I've only been here a few hours and I've let myself become something I don't want to be. I'm just as bad as her, Four, I'm a monster."

At this moment, I strain my eyes away from him. I hear his movements and assume that he feels the same way; that he chooses to leave me. But I'm met by his long legs, pairing themselves to mine along the floor; trailed out in front of us. His are so long that they almost reach the opposite wall to us. This differs greatly to mine. I've always been short, easy to hide; simple so it shocks me when he chooses to do this.

"Why are you still here?" I say; not in a cruel way, like a child does to be spiteful, but a curious voice- as if there is a longing within me.

"I can leave, all you have to do is ask." He says, slightly lightheartedly.

"Well, now that you mention it..." I trail off. I think that he knows deep down, that the last thing I need now is to be on my own.

He laughs.

"You know, you won't get rid of me that easily. I'm here to stay." He says, looking at the ceiling.

"Thank you." I said.

"For what?" He asked, confused smile on his face. I smiled back, giving his hand a squeeze.

"Being an idiot," I joked, making him laugh. I laughed with him until realisation hit me like a truck and I quickly grabbed his hand. "Christina! I completely forgot about Christina!" I started running, dragging him behind me.

...

"You beat Lauren's ass!" Was the first thing Christina said when we burst through the door of the nurses office. The bridge of her nose was starting to turn a purple-lilac and the skin under her eyes was swollen. I winced at Christina's mention of me second fight, Four noticing my discomfort.

"Let's just not talk about that," Four said, giving Christina a look.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, sitting down next to her.

"Let me tell you, Tris, you've got a good elbow," she complimented, causing an unladylike laugh to bubble out of my chest.

"That's the weirdest compliment I've ever had," I replied with a smile.

"It's true! My nose was bleeding for half an hour!" She exclaimed, clapping me on the shoulder.

"Do not congratulate me on this!" I replied. "I feel awful!"

"Don't worry about it. At least now we know you're good enough to be in Dauntless."

Her comment made me halt. Did I really want to be in Dauntless if this is what it was going to turn me into? I mean, the friends I'd made today were great, but I wanted to forget the fight I'd had today. I don't think I could walk into that training room again without being physically sick. I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to be in the same room as Lauren again. But was it too late to change now? And did I really have the guts to change to Abnegation?

"Yeah... Great..." I replied. Four gave me a weird look, but I pretended that I didn't see it. Christina didn't pick up on it, and it wasn't long after that we were leaving and making our way to the parking lot.