Little Deaths In Musical Beds (Brendon Urie)

Chapter Thirteen: How I Miss Yesterday, How I Let It Fade Away

The sound of the van door opening jarred Brendon out of his sleep. His eyes shot open, and he lifted his head from where it had been resting, on the van window. Stretching his arms over his head, he let out a long sigh that turned into a yawn. When his eyes had fully adjusted there was no mistaking they were back home.

He hopped out of the parked van and began to help Spencer unload the gear. They needed to get it all back into the practice space until the tour in a couple of weeks. None of them had expected any of this let alone for it to happen as fast as it was. It was one of the reasons Brendon had decided to let Aveline drift away from him. He thought that she'd be happier without him. Even if it hurt, in the long run, he thought it was for the best.

It wasn't until he was home and plopping body down, face first onto his bed and into his pillow that his mind started to race. He loved her. Nothing he could do or say could make him forget that. The feeling of not having her, whether physically or not killed him. He rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He laughed, remembering that staring at a ceiling never solved anything. If he wanted to fix it he was going to have to do it himself. So, tucking his tail between his legs and shoving his pride aside he made the decision to go to her.

Aveline had an open suitcase lying on her bed. She stared down at it, motionless. A lot had happened in the last few weeks, a lot she hadn't been prepared for. She was doing the right thing in her mind though. Brendon had made it pretty clear that he wanted to break up. He just didn't want to do it through text. Ella's fiancé was a really great guy, and he offered for Aveline to come with them when they moved to Connecticut. At first she was leery. She wanted to believe there was still hope with Brendon, but she soon gave up that thought when her attempts to text and call him failed.

A knock on her bedroom door caused her to turn around quickly. She wasn't expecting anyone, and Ella wasn't home. Her eyes widened when the door opened all of the way revealing a very exhausted looking Brendon. She wasn't ready for this, not now, not ever. She let out a long sigh.

"Brendon," she breathed, "You're back."

"Yeah, I just got back a couple of hours ago," he informed her, his eyes scanning the room. Boxes full of Aveline's things sat open on the floor of her room, and Brendon was confused.

"Are you going somewhere?"

"I am actually."

"Oh," his voice lowered with uncertainty.

"Can we just get this over with Bren?" She asked him sitting on the bed and picking at her nail polish, "It hurts bad enough without you being here for an extended period of time reminding me of -"

"I'm not here to break up with you," Brendon cut her off gently, "Is that what you think?"

Her eyes hurry to meet his, "You're not?"

"No," he rubbed his face with his hands as he moved closer to her and got on his knees, "I'm an idiot okay? I should have talked to you when you wanted to," he explained, "I guess I just thought..." he trailed off looking down.

"Thought what?" She lifts his chin with her hand.

"You'd be better off without me."

"How could you ever think that?" Her tone was harsh but not because she was angry. It was because she was shocked, "Brendon, I love you. Why would I want to be without you?"

"You look like you're doing just fine," his face was sheepish and sad as he looked around at all the boxes then back at her.

"You think this is what I want? Brendon you, I mean fuck why didn't you just trust me enough to tell me the truth?"