Little Deaths In Musical Beds (Brendon Urie)

Chapter Nine: I'll Even Have The Courtesy Of Admitting I Was Wrong

(Aveline's POV)

When I pull back from the kiss he doesn't say anything, but I don't expect him to. He's confused, why wouldn't he be? It's only been a month since I told him I didn't want to do this with him. I was confused too, but spending less time with him made me realize that I don't want him not in my life ever again. I'm not sure it's the right thing to do. I'm not sure of anything, but tonight in the light that the fire casts over him, I'm sure he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, even with the betrayal of a guitar string etched into the side of his face.

I reach to trace the outline of the wound, and he grabs my wrist gently.

"Don't," he tells me. His voice is soft and it cracks a little.

"What's wrong?" I ask, but I already know.

He looks at me. His eyes are the color of milk chocolate, and I just want to get lost in them, just dive in and never come back. He still grips my wrist. It seems as though he has a purpose for doing it, though I don't know what it is yet. I wonder if he can feel my pulse, feel how fast my heart is beating?

"You can't just go back and forth," his voice is an octave louder than a whisper, and he sounds like I've knifed him, "I'm not a play thing," he continues, "I'm a human being and I -"

I put my finger to his lips and allow my eyes to settle in the depths of his milk chocolate ones.

"I know that," I assure him removing my finger, "I kissed you because," and I stop because I realize I don't really know how to explain it, "Because," I try again, but it still escapes me.

"Because?" He urges me to tell him.

"Because I was wrong," the words spill out of my lips before I have time to think about them. More words are coming, I can feel them, but I know all of them are true.

"I thought staying just friends was the right thing to do, but it's just making both of us miserable," I admit, "I fucked up okay? I freaked out. I mean fuck Bren, you're my best friend, you're, you -"

He leans in and kisses me softly. His hand wraps around the back of my neck pulling me closer. I've never been more grateful for an interruption in my life. His lips are just, oh god, his lips. The kiss deepens as I climb onto his lap, straddling him. His tongue asks for entry into my mouth by pressing against my lips, and I give it to him. Now my tongue dances with his, running up and down the muscle, circling it, sucking on it. I feel like I might pass out. This is officially the best kiss ever, like ever, ever.

I moan into his mouth, and push myself further onto him. His breath hitches, and he stops kissing me, and I know what I've done.

"I'm sorry," I bite my lip, "I didn't realize you were-" I can't finish the sentence, and I don't need to because he knows what I'm talking about as both of our eyes focus on the erection, full and obvious in his jeans. He laughs as he throws his head back. It's only back for a moment before he looks at me. I'm on my knees hovering above his lap. He grabs my hips and pulls me back onto him. I let out a very desperate moan as he grinds me into him.

"How can you still not understand what you do to me?" He whispers in my ear. His lips are on my neck placing hot, hungry kisses right below my lobe. At this point I know I sound like a wild animal using her mating call to attract suitors. I don't care though. He's killing me, and he should know it. He sucks on my neck as I grind my hips on him. His cock is hard, very, very hard, and even though I've felt it before it's a different sensation through his jeans. It's hitting all the right spots and it's going to make me lose it. My head falls back, but his lips stay attached to my neck as sexy groans leave his mouth vibrating my skin. I feel his lips on my chin then down, down my neck and oh god, oh god he's going to make me...

My body feels like it has been blown apart in the best way as I burry my face into his shoulder to muffle my sounds. My legs squeeze his thighs, and my body is shaking. He rubs his hands up and down my arms. I pull back and kiss him.

"That was fucking hot," he smiles on my lips.

"Yeah?" I ask, and he nods, "I think," I tell him as I begin to grind on him again, "It's your turn." I give him a wicked smile as my lips graze his neck.

His hands rest on my hips pushing me down harder, needing more friction, wanting it, desperate for it. I reach around to the back of his neck and thread my fingers into his hair. When I have a handful I pull on it. He moans, and my mouth goes to his ear.

"Come for me baby," I whisper, "Come for me Bren, Come for your Liri."

That does it because he grabs me, sinks his teeth into the side of my neck next to my collarbone and his body jerks hard. It's all I have to keep quiet when I feel his teeth, it's so good yet so painful. I could almost come again, but I don't. I just wait for him to regain composure.

"Fuck," he breathes long and hard, "You're going to get me into trouble," he smiles.

"I think I already have," I laugh a little.

He pulls me in for a soft kiss.

"So, this is really real?" He asks me, "You're really all mine?"

I grin, "Yes Bren, I'm really all yours," I confirm, "I always was I just didn't know it."

His smile gets big, and he kisses me again, "Merry Christmas Liri," he whispers on my lips.

I smile, "Merry Christmas Bren."