Just One Time (Destiel mpreg)

Chapter 11

He felt nothing.

Dead. A constant ringing in his ears. Numbness. Silence.

Dean was long gone.

Sitting against the wall of the bathroom with one bloody hand gripping a bottle of whiskey and the other laying limp by his side, he stared off into nothingness and fought the urge to cry in the presence of Cas' body. Still laying on the floor, cleaned up, washed, and dressed, Cas laid wrapped in a stark white sheet with his face covered.

Dean couldn't bare to get to his feet and take the body of his angel to the bonfire that was about to rage outside. Cas deserved a hunter's funeral, it was the least they could do for him with all he did for them. With Sam outside gathering the wood for the fire, Dean was left with his empty thoughts and his sleeping daughter who was resting on his bed just an eye shot from the bathroom. The thought of his own flesh and blood brought the smallest smile to his face and distracted him for the time being.

It may have seemed indecent for him to ignore his own newborn daughter, but Dean loved her from the moment he saw her and would do anything to keep her safe. The hunter just couldn't find the strength to move without bursting into tears of leaving his angel.

"Dean?"

The hunter looked to his towering younger brother who stood in the doorway and speaking in the softest voice possible. Dean smiled an empty smile before wiping his mouth and breathing in deeply. The bottle of whiskey landed on the tiled floor beside him with a clang as he stood up and balanced himself against the wall.

Sam came forward to steady the older hunter in a loving embrace as Dean gladly accepted it. "Think you'll be okay?" Sam asked his brother as Dean nodded his head and separated but still being held in his brothers' arms. "I'm fine Sammy, I'll be fine. Let's get him outside shall we?" Dean ran his hand through his cropped hair and bent down by Cas' body to plant a long and soft kiss to his clothed head. A few stray tears fell from Dean's eyes as he sniffled and gingerly picked up his angels' body and took him outside with Sam right behind him with his daughter in his hands; snuffled close his neck and sleeping soundly.

To the best of his ability, Dean set the angel on the makeshift wooden cot as gingerly as he could before kissing him one last time on the head and saying his goodbye's.

"I will see you again, you hear me Castiel? I will see you again." He whispered, wiping his tears and stepping back from the pile of wood. Sam gave a loving smile before handing the matches over to the older brother and standing back with his niece in his hands snuggled close to his chest. "It's what he deserves, Dean. He was one of us."

Dean felt tears well in his eyes again as he pursed his lips and held them back the best he could. Staring down at the box of matches through his tears he hurriedly took one out of the box, lit it, and threw it on the gasoline soaked wood without a second thought in his head.

The hunter felt defeated, like the ground was slipping out from underneath him and the only thing that made that feeling go away was being held by his angel. His Castiel. To be caressed and gently squeezed by someone he truly loved. Only Castiel could do that and Dean missed that feeling more than any feeling in the world. It was the loneliest feeling in the world and Dean hated every minute of being alive without his angel.

"Dean?" Sam interrupted his older brothers' thoughts to hand over his daughter, thinking it would help him cope with the feeling of loneliness that Sam knew all too well. Dean turned around and gladly took his daughter into his hands. Every part of her reminded the hunter of Castiel. Her jet black hair, her perfect rounded nose, even her bright blue eyes lit up like the sky when she saw her daddy. Dean smiled the smallest of smiles at his pride and joy as he tickled her nose lightly as she gurgled happily and gave a toothless smile back.