You saved me

Chapter 1

"Get out of here! I don't even deserve a daughter like you! You're a failure!"
My mom yelled, as I started crying.
A failure. My mom had just called me a failure...it couldn't have gotten any worse.

It was the day after my 18th birthday.
I should have been happy, just a young girl going out with friends, partying and  enjoying her life. Instead, I was locked in my room, crying. Even my mum hated me.
My classmates hated me, my teachers hated me, the only friend I had probably hated me as well, the whole world hated me. But, most of all, I hated myself. I hated being so ugly, stupid and immature, as everyone was calling me, and I hated life in general.
The only reason I hadn't quit life yet is because of five guys, the Backstreet Boys. Without even knowing that I existed, they were the only ones capable of making me smile in spite of all the pain. They made life just a tiny bit more bearable, and their music kept me alive even through though times. They were my everything.

Wiping off my tears, I started looking at their faces on the poster I had on my bed. I stared at each one of them; first Kevin, then Nick, Howie, AJ, and, last but not least, him. Brian Thomas Littrell. My angel. Don't get me wrong, I loved all of them, but Brian was always somehow a bit more special to me...maybe it was his deep blue eyes, maybe his dorkiness, maybe his heart of gold, I'm not sure, but there was something about him that made my heart skip everytime I thought about him.
I took BSB's latest album, Millenium, out of my closet, and I put it in the cd player. The songs were playing, one by one, making me feel relaxed and happy. But when the cd was over, it happened. All of the negative thoughts filled my mind again.
I thought about everyone at school, making fun of me because I was ugly and fat. Because I was an introvert and I didn't have many friends. Even because I liked the Backstreet Boys.
I thought of everything they had done to me during the years. They had called me all sorts of things, from "stupid" to "fat whale" to "ugly b*tch".
They had punched me, spit on me, bullied me, but I didn't say anything... I didn't say anything cause I had drawn the conclusion that maybe they were right. Maybe I was really "stupid", "ugly" and everything. Why was I even alive? No one wanted me, I felt like trash. Therefore, I did the only thing that seemed right in that moment. I rolled up my sleeves and took the knife I always kept hidden in my closet. I looked at my Backstreet Boys poster again. "Sorry guys, but I have to do this" I whispered, as I ran the blade on my left arm. First one small cut, then other two, until I felt blood coming out. It hurt, but at the same time it felt so good. Then, I took the knife with my left hand and I started cutting my right arm. But suddenly, I don't exactly know what happened, but the blade went to deep, making me yell. I tried to stop the blood from coming out, but nothing could be done. "Crap!" I thought.
Then, it was all dark.