Survival

Survival: Chapter Eleven

    

Chapter Eleven:

Austin is freezing cold. I left the apartment will only my thin jacket, which was air-dried in the bathroom along with my shirt. I didn't even have enough time to make my Toilet Paper Sweater.

It didn't take a second for all the roads to be filled with cars. Cars going north, east, south, and west.

Roads will never be lonely. There will always be a pair of four tires grinding through the road. I wish I was like a road. I wish I had the company like a road. But now I'm starting to feel like a road.

My watch reads 7:36 A.M., 12-05-14, and my search for a job begins. I needed a job where I don't need to be eighteen years old to work. By the way, my birthday is on the twenty-fifth so I'll be legal to smoke, buy lottery tickets, yet many teens do all this before their even eighteen and a lot worse.

I walk and enter many small stores where I don't need to fill out papers and giving them to strangers where they're probably wouldn't even give take them into consideration.

So far no good.

I walk and walk until I found a HELP WANTED sign in a small café. I walk in. I ask to talk to the manager, and the manager gives me the job. Simple as that. He asked me a few questions like, "are you able to interact with people, can you an adapt to this environment."

I answered yes to all of the questions, even if I was stretching the truth. The manager's name tag reads Jake. He's about the same size of me, six feet. He looks well educated, and as a professional.

"Adam, I'm giving you this opportunity because I believe the youth is what will keep this small café, like this one, to grow," Jake told me." Coffee Cup Café just started, and your one of our few employees. Try to do good. I know how it is having a job as a teenager. See you tomorrow at seven A.M. sharp, don't be late."

"Thank you, sir, I wouldn't disappoint you," I say.

I leave the coffee shop and start walking back home, and on the way, I started to think about how Jake gave me trust by giving me the job of a busboy.

It feels good having someone having trust in you, especially an adult. No one has ever had trust me, except Sammy.

But now that I think about all of the overall pictures, I get it. People don't trust me because of me. It's always been me. With my fucked up attitude, and my shitty way of acting to the world. It's not the world's fault my parents died. And it's absolutely not my fault, either. They died. But they died too soon. And that's why I blame life and destiny.

We tend to blame the bad things on people, on God, or life, but do we thank them when they actually perform a good deed to us? Our eyes tend to only see the flaws.

We have understood--I have to understand- that there's isn't perfection without the smallest flaw. There's always a dead leaf in a tree, there's always a cloud in every clear sky, and for sure there will be flaws with life.

I can't believe it's taken me so long for me to understand that life is not to blame for everything bad that happens to me.

No more Living a Fucked Life. It's time to change, to live. I know if my family were here they would've wanted me to live the way I'm living now.

Life can suck if you let it happen. I'll never live if I continue being such an asshole with myself.

Live

Now

Or

Stop

Caring.