Judith [small caps intended]

chapter 9

judith,

 

 

 

my siblings and i searched the internet about where we can type our prayers online, holding tightly for hope. 

tears were still streaming down our face, falling down to our keyboard. 

"all we have to do is pray and hope," my brother said as he cried. i saw a spark in his eyes. hope. such a word. i wish to have them. 

and i just thought, it's not yet confirmed. what if my auntie will be like those miracle people? they'll wake up and stand and talk.

 

hope.

 

four letters but such meaning it held. i wasn't supposed to believe in it but i chose to grab on it. 

 

' please let our auntie judith be alive because she commited suicide. '  we typed in the prayer box online and clicked 'send'.

we waited. 

we prayed. 

until our father texted us to shut the electricity switch at home and wait outside.

'auntie's alive.... right?' i asked my siblings.

'don't worry' they said as they smiled but their eyes betrayed them.

 

fear.

 

four letters, as well. probably, everyone has this .

 

i waited and waited and waited until our father arrived.

'auntie... is she okay?' i asked as i literally sprint in front of dad.

'i'm sorry but...we lost her.' 

 

lost.  

numb.

dead.

 

i grabbed those words and let go of hope. there is no such thing as a miracle.

no.

such.

thing.

 

 

 

lovingly yours,

tori