Judith [small caps intended]

Epilogue

judith,

 

 

 

six years later after your death, i am slowly recovering from your death.

september 2013.

i don't feel ashamed now and i can talk to people about you , as well! 

but something happened today that's why i'm typing this out.

so it's aleady dismissal time and we're asked to clean our classroom and me being the badass that i am,  i just sat there at the corridor with my friend.  i don't know if i can actually call this person as a friend since i just met her. yeah. 

anyways, there are three room along the corridor i am staying and i'm already in my senior years. funny how my favorite grandfather, the one you left when you killed yourself, joined you on february 5,2013. probably, i have to tell my story about him but not in this story. yours is a whole different story from him.

 

so as i was saying, i was walking along the corridor when i smelled a scent that invaded my nostrils. it smells like flowers....and strawberries. 

 

i feel so intoxicated. i feel like i got poison in my body.

involuntarily, i covered my nose as tears shot through my eyes.

"let's go. we have to leave" i told my friend and she asked me what's the matter. 

i can't talk to her since i felt like i can't breathe. i was suffocating. 

she was still nervous and i shook my head.

"the scent..." i said, trying to sniff if the scent is lingering in the spot where i stopped. "...it reminds me of my aunt." 

after that moment, i avoided that part of the corridor as much as possible.

 

funny ,huh? how six years had passed but i still know that scent of the fragrant that i gave you back at december, 25, 2007.  i was shocked too, i know. 

 

i just wanted to share you this though that even the little things in the world will still remind me of you and even though i would cry when i see, hear, feel those things, well, just remember. you were once part of my existence . 

 

i love you, auntie.

till we meet again.

 

i know it is too late but... auntie, you were the one who pusshed me down the cliff yet, i climbed the cliff and now, i'm stronger as i was before. 

the wind whipped me until i stumble against the ashpalt floor but i heard you voice saying that i shouldn't give up and i stood just for you. 

 

i love you ,goodbye.

 

rip judith [december 12, 1968 - december 30,2007]

 

lovingly yours,

tori