Judith [small caps intended]

chapter 12

judith,

 

 

 

i raised my head, half-expecting that i will be able to see the judith who i knew before she fell into depression but it wasn't you. it was my father.

"it's going to be alright," he cooed.

"papa, i killed auntie" i said as another round of tears fell to my eyes. "i could've changed her, papa. and it hurts. i feel so empty. papa, what am i feeling? i think the other part of me is dead." i heaved.

my father rubbed his eyes as if he wanted to look strong when it is pretty obvious that he was flicking a tear out of his eyes.

"papa, it hurts. i killed auntie!" i was hysterical!

 

my father told me to be thankful that you gave us such a blessing but something stirred inside me. it feels so hot in my stomach up to my lungs and i knew that i've now mended anger and guilt. 

a lump in my throat while something was burning inside me. 

 

 

 

how would i be thankful if the exchange of all this is your goddamn life?!

 

 

 

lovingly yours,

tori