Judith [small caps intended]

chapter 24

judith,

 

 

 

so the next day after i made the list, i did my first step.

 

my plan is this. i will go to the room where my auntie judith died, walk towards her bed and kiss the pillowcase as if her head was there.

 

i will replay everything to the day in december 25.

 

i don't have to reherse it.

 

so now, the room was eerily quiet and i walked slowly towards her bed, telling myself that she was just away and i won't let the tears invade my eyes.

 

you're strong , tori. this is the way you'll say goodbye to auntie judith , i thought to myself.

i know the exact place where she killed herself. in front of the mirror. the part where the bed was facing.

i crept beside the bed and smiled . "hi auntie, judith. how are you?"

i leaned my head towards the pillowcase and kissed it as i stroke the bed sheets. "here's your gift. i love you, auntie judith."

at this time, tears were already streaming out of my eyes but a big weight has been lifted on my shoulders. 

"are you having fun at work? my mom says you're in a vacation. i love you, auntie. " i sniffed "and i miss you so much." i gave a hurtful smile which i knew she wouldn't see.

 

 

 

"goodbye."

 

 

 

lovingly yours,

tori