Elevators (Emison)

Emily Called And Left With No Ali.

Alison POV

  Calm is the forest right after the dawn light has kissed the colours into being. Just being there brings the soul into sweet surrender, at one with nature, vibrant yet relaxed. Every fragrance is fresh, like the page of a new book. Each burst of birdsong is unique, a live chorus to waken the mind, to shake off whatever sleepiness remains. Thoughts and feet wander, lungs fill, time rolls by in its silent and endless way. And that's how I felt.

  "You are a lullaby on the wind. I reach out, only for my fingers to close on the air. You are softness and laughter. You soothe me, take my pain and make it manageable, create a person capable of recovering where before there was only decay inside. You leave me stronger, though your loss is felt to my very bones. You gave your words to me, as I gave mine to you and in this life they are all we truly have." I wrote in my diary. 

  By midnight the darkness is almost absolute, only a smattering of luminous stars scatter the heavens. Even the moon has waned to almost nothing and I cannot see even my hand in front of my face.  A clear night illuminated only by the glint of starlight and the radiance of a bright moon. At midnight, yellow beams of streetlight would illuminate the invading darkness, casting a myriad of shadows upon the asphalt.The place was silvered and transformed by the light of the moon, which, at the full, hung like a great luminous pearl on the radiant breast of heaven.The moonlight splashed down its watery white-silver glow onto the city, bathing them, illuminating them. And in the distance the trees were silhouetted against the deep velvety sky.As I fall asleep my phone starts ringing with even looking at the Caller I.D..

''Hello''

''Ali where are you?''I jump off my seat making everyone worried.I put it on speaker and let everyone hear.

''Emily why are you calling me?''

''I miss you''

''Yeah well you know what Nicki could help you with your needs right and I'm so disappointed that you took advantage of me losing my memory and acting that you never do nothing wrong. You hurt and hurt me over again and come back like I'm always wrong and I'm done WE ARE DONE!''

''Ali wait what are you talking about''

''Yeah act dump for once in your life. I endure so much for you and you let me down over and over again. You move on cause if you don't I will''I press end and look at everyone.

''I'M SICK OF HER BULLSHIT''I say and start to cry.Nate comes and comfort me before I fall asleep and think of something my mom used to say.A phone holds a thousand memories. Not just in the hundreds of pictures that could tell my story, but in my music, in the text messages and the ones I never sent, in my voice memos, in the games I play to pass the time away secretly waiting to hear from you, in the way my ear presses against the glass just to hear your voice... but most of all, in all the silence of our slightly opened lips desperately begging it to just say how we really feel for each other. A phone remembers the silence it had to endure between people.

3rd Person POV

  He studied her as she slept. Her hair was matted and splayed about the pillow her head sunk into. Her small frame was curled to one side as if in protection of itself and her full lips were slightly parted. What held his attention longest however were her lashes. Long, thick, and dark. They weren't caked in that black paint she brushed into them everyday that clumped her lashes together unnaturally and by the end of the day had crumbled under her eyes and added to the already dark bags beneath them. He had never seen her without the makeup she wore as a barrier between her and the world. He wanted to run his fingers over those lashes. He could bet they were as soft as silk, light as a feather. The moonlight that crept through the window fell over eyes and made those lashes glisten so that from the correct angle they looked almost white. He wanted to kiss each one of her eyelids and feel those lovely lashes tickle his lips. He never wanted to see those lashes damp. Not ever again.  

Alison POV

I wake up and look over to my side.She carefully rolled onto her side and looked at him. His features were much softer in sleep, the lines that usually creased his brow replaced by the youthful appearance that matched those of others their age. He looked peaceful. Wanting nothing more than to curl up into the curve of his body, she turned around and pulled the blanket up over her shoulder.His heart thumped in accordance with slow, shallow breaths. Serenity was plastered across his face as he slept. At peace, his consciousness swirled in the land of dreams, oblivious to the physical world.I smile at the beauty in people we don't see everyday and lay back and read from my favorite book ''Great Expectations''I slowly read the words that was so dear to me so dear to Emily's and I's first kiss and now I read this without Emily but with a baby I share with her a baby who'll probably remind me of her everyday.I fall asleep and a few hours later When I wake up, I bet I heard my mom yelling at me for sleeping in. But then the reality takes over my dreams. Mom's not here. The reality hits like a stab in the stomach. All I can do is take it in. There is part of growing up that is genuine, and part that disguises the greatest pain we can ever know. To take account of one's actions is growth; to protect others instead of being selfish is growth; to react to disaster with calm thought and decisive leadership is growth. The rest is a mental dislocation, a way to protect the developing brain from hurt it can't deal with. We aren't wired to watch our world be destroyed; we aren't born with the capacity to watch others suffer and do nothing to help; we aren't supposed to be herded like sheep with minds of dull compliance. As we grow we see problems we are told can't be fixed and so our minds break a little, removing the pain for our own protection. 

Small children can't see suffering without suffering also and neither should we be able to. We didn't grow up, we got damaged. Being "hard" to suffering and environmental destruction isn't a sign of strength but a form of mental illness most adults carry. "Strength" is what it takes to see the world as it is through the eyes of a child, perhaps that's the final stage of growing up. 

  I guess I'm growing up. As a child I needed protection more than I could to protect others, I guess that's the natural way of things - to need guidance until we can walk on our own. For a while I did walk on my own, striking my own path, and you know what? It was lonely. Now I am grown I walk with you, wanting and needing to protect you as much as you protect me. Perhaps that's what growing up really means, loving so much you become a guardian instead of either the guarded or the loner. Together is better, together is strong. You give me the wisdom to know when to follow, the courage when I must lead, and the heart to stay true when the waters get rough. I won't leave again. Home is where the heart is and mine can no longer be separated from yours.  I write down looking at Family,Ex lovers and friends because we are stronger together and we need to know that in order to survive this world.