A life lived as an illusion... This is the dilemma of Alison who woke up from a coma (in chapter Waking Up to Reality Pt1) to the fact that everything she had experienced and lived through was made up. Now she has to accept this fact as she moves on...
Waking up can be really harsh, especially if your dreams are better than reality. The saddest part of it is, though, that eventually even the memory of your dream will fade - if you are even lucky enough to remember it that is. Then you're left with this lonely feeling of detachment, left to explore in the empty void of emotions, the only proof that you ever had the dream to begin with. I awoke to soft sheets, and the morning light trickled in through the blinds. Shedding myself of the remaining glimpses of a dream, my eyes were still shut as I soaked in the warmth of my covers before letting my blue eyes see the sun's rays.
I look at my mirror and remember a poem i'd always recite but I always forgot who wrote it.
Mirror Mirror, if i change my hair maybe someone will start to care.
Mirror Mirror, if i starve myself at least ill be pretty,forget my health
Mirror Mirror, if i cut my wrist will i feel like i exist?
Mirror Mirror, don't you see? what you show, its ruining me
For far too long it had watched her cry so the mirror decided to reply
What you see? it isn't true the misery is found inside of you
Don't lock yourself in a broken soul or i promise you one day you'll lose all control.
I walk up to the mirror in my underwear and stared at myself and all my insecurities come flooding back.
Ali gazed at her reflection but she did not see what her Momma saw. She did not see what her friends saw. Instead of slim she saw chubby and instead of cute she saw plain. Her eyes would roam critically from one feature to another and catalog it in her brain.
She remembered the storm How there was a swirl of emotions How she was called everything in the book of wrong How she was to scared to look at herself in the mirror because she didn't want to see if those words were true She didn't want to prove them right That she doesn't belong here. Who would want to feel like that? Who would want to think like that? But that's all she knew So that's what she became The person who everyone wanted to be around The person who thought they were beautiful But...she didn't. She still didn't think she was worth it Because every time she saw her reflection, she didn't know who was staring back.
''Your worthless'' Her reflection said.
''Look at this''it said touching her body''I'm ashamed I look like you'' and then it disappeared.
I walk to the bathroom, it felt like I was sleep walking like I wasn't in this disgusting body like I was held captive and drowning in this body.
Alison stood there, sunken eyes staring back at her. The makeup was gone from her face, her hair was frizzed, and she was clad in years-old pajamas, showing off her chubby midriff and too-tight sleeves. She fell forward, catching herself on the porcelain sink and bowed her head, shoulders shaking. A sense of deja vu swept over her, as the ghosts of her past paraded around her and within her, a sneaky reminder of all the nights she had spent here watching herself, struggling to keep breathing when her entire body seemed to sag with exhaustion and numbed agony.
She looked at her self electric eyes staring at her mocking her laughing like everyone did and she hated it.She got in the shower and felt the water beat on her ugly body like it was disgusted to touch her and she cried that's all she could.I change my clothes and look at my self lifelessly and turned away disgust.
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I walk outside and see Hanna and Spencer eating breakfast.
''Where is everyone?''I said looking at them.
''Aria said she had to meet someone and the boys are at a football match''I nod and sit next to them and stare at the apple in front of me and I thought about not eating nothing but I had someone else to feed.
Hanna POV
She looks at me like the fire in her eyes has been dowsed with ice water, if anything it makes the blue more pale. I'm not used to it, it unnerves me. I want her to give freely like she always does but she won't. It's like she just crawled right back inside some invisible shell and no matter how hard I try she's unreachable. She moves her eyes more slowly, like they're heavy, an effort to move. I want to crack my usual jokes but I know she won't laugh. I'm standing right next to her but she might as well be on the moon.
''You okay''I ask holding her hand.She flinched and nodded before telling me she was going somewhere and to take care of Royalty.A few minutes after she left Royalty woke up and looked at me sad.
''Were's mwommy?''
''She went to do a little errand alright''
''I want mwommy''
''She'll be back soon''she comes to me and lays in my lap going back to sleep.
Ali POV
Upon the forest floor lie trees of yesteryear, fallen in storms long forgotten. The seasons have been harsh, stripping away the bark and outer layers, yet rendering them all the more beautiful. They have the appearance of driftwood, twisting in patterns that remind Sarah of seaside waves; even the colour of the moss is kelp-like. They are soft, damp, yet her fingers come away dry. Ali tilts her head upward, feeling her hair tumble further down her back; the pines are several houses tall, reaching toward the golden rays of spring. Birdsong comes in lulls and bursts, the silence and the singing working together as well as any improvised melody. A new smile paints itself upon her freckled face, rose-pink lips semi-illuminated by the dappled light. Before she knows it her feet have begun to walk, body and mind both on autopilot - it's morning-time and no-one expects her home until supper.
I finally reach the place I wanted to be the kissing rock which was a log.
But before I could step towards it I see two persons backs I tilt my head and see a
girl laying on the rock while a girl plumps into her with a dick.I tilt some more and my heart broke as I saw ...
