Crazy~Sexy~Psycho

Chapter Twenty-One

A/N:

Music.

Up there ^

Listen to it.

K bye

~~~

So here we are.

I'm having one of those moments where you're up so high that there's a permanent, demented smile tatooed on your face even though all you can think about is the inevitable fall from this high.

When you realize that there's no way you can feel this good and have it last because that would go against nature.

So I sit there, my face buried in his chest, trying to catch my breath and it seems like all I do around him is try to remember how to breathe. I wonder if the same thoughts are going through his head and then I wonder if I'll ever know what's going through his head.

Someone has to break the silence.  We can't sit here forever but I don't know what to say. I'm afraid one word will ruin what just happened so I wait for him to speak first.

"Let's not talk about it tonight," he says quietly, and I smile because that's exactly what I was thinking.  We have all the time in the world to worry about the details.

I nod against him and he kisses the top of my head. After a few more minutes of sitting there and gathering ourselves, we separate and put our clothes back on.

"The sun is coming up soon," he says, looking out over the cliff. I walk up beside him and notice the colors in the horizon that hint that the night is ending.

"Should we go?" I ask, looking up at him.

"And miss the sunrise from up here? Hell no, " he smiles, one of those huge, genuine smiles that make his dimples cut deep into his cheeks.

Crap..I forgot to lick them...

I feel his hand slide into mine and he pulls me into an embrace, his other hand on my hip. I wrap my free arm around his shoulder.

"Dance with me,"

I lay my head on his chest, "But there's no music," I laugh.

He starts the sway anyway so I follow. He rests his chin on my hair.

"When life gives you silence, you make music," he says like its the most obvious thing.

I've seen every side of Gavin in one night. I think for any other person, to see this many personalities come from one human would cause trust issues. It would make you think they weren't genuine. Make you wonder who the real person is but it's the opposite with him.

I've never been so sure I was seeing exactly the truth. Everyone pretends to be who they think everyone wants them to be. One boring personality.

"Then make some music,"

I can almost feel the grin and then there's silence for a few seconds before he starts quietly singing.

It's not quite singing though, it's more like he's whispering to me..

"No one knows what it's like...to be the bad girl....to be the sad girl...behind blue eyes,"

I love how he changed it to "girl" for me and I  smile  like a crazy person as he continues the song.

"And no one knows what it's like...to be hated...to be fated...to telling only lies.."

I feel the grip that he has on my heart getting tighter by the minute.  I'm dancing on a mountain, watching a sunrise,  with a guy singing to me. This shit only happens in the movies...or books.

Something occurs to me then. That all my chapters are now filled with Gavin. I'm proud of them and it's a book I would read over and over and wouldn't change a damn detail or leave anything out. I want it to continue and end with him.

A happy ending.

But not one of those predictable ones. One of those "Holy shit I didn't see that coming but it's awesome" endings.

"But my dreams... They aren't as empty...as my conscience seems to be..I have hours...only lonely...my love is vengeance...that's never free.."

I wonder if he chose this song because it reminded him of me or himself.

Who cares....it's amazing.

So there the night ends.

He sings.

We dance.

And we watch the sunrise.

~~~

"Why are you smiling like someone put crack in your fruit loops?" My Mom pulls me from my thoughts as I mindlessly eat my cereal because the night before..or I should say this morning...is on repeat in my head.

"Don't say crack, Mom," I say before taking another bite and offering her a big smile with a mouth full of milk and tiny colorful circles...which by the way are all the same flavor, just different colors.

This fact blew my mind because my whole childhood, I convinced myself that the red ones were the best.

Like Starburst.

Or pretty much any other form of candy...

"Ok, I'm not going to ask why you look like you've been awake for three days straight on some kind of crime spree that you're apparently extremely happy about.." She gives me a glare.

Is it that obvious? I could only imagine what I look like. Gavin didn't drop me off until almost eight and thankfully my mom wasn't up yet.

So I'm running on no sleep and only able to function due to the lasting effects if adrenaline.  I'm sure the circles under my eyes are insane and mix that with this stupid grin stuck on my face, I'm sure I look crazy.

"I'm just happy you look happy, so I'm going to let it go but just know..." She stops and does that thing where she points two fingers at her eyes and then at mine...and then at hers again.." I'm watching you,"

I laugh and continue eating.

"I have to run in to work and won't be done until late tonight so you'll have to miss your appointment today. I'll call the doctor and let him know," She says distracted as she starts gathering her stuff to leave.

My stomach turns thinking about missing my chance to see Gavin tonight, which makes me feel like an obsessed crazy person but I don't care. My Mom probably thinks I'll be relieved to hear this so I try to play it cool.

"I can just take the bus there," I shrug, looking down at the my bowl and I notice out of the corner of her eye that she stops dead in her tracks.

"What?" I look up.

"Really?" Her face looks so confused. "But I wouldn't be able to pick you up until late. I probably won't be done until almost ten tonight.."

"Then I take the bus home.  I actually have some school work I need to go to the library to do so it works out,"

Smooth Angel....Smooth.

"Ok hun," her stunned expression still clear on her face as she continues getting ready to leave.

And I smile wider knowing that I have until ten tonight with Gavin.

Obsessed.

Shut up.

~~~~