When the day met the night

27

I wouldn't answer my phone, I messaged Jared,  telling him I needed some time and I couldn't speak to him. I promised him that I wouldn't make any decisions without telling him, this seemed to placate him but it didn't stop him. I watched as his face popped up on my phone when he rang over and over again. Sometimes 5 or 6 times in the space of 10 minutes. I couldn't bring myself to talk to him, I was furious at him. I knew I had to take some of the blame, but he was the one who kept 'forgetting' to use protection. Lucy had called me, telling me that he had called her several times trying to get in touch with me. There were no threats or anger from him she said, just sheer desperation to talk to me. Even though she didn't like him, she urged me to ring him, I firmly told her to mind her own business. Two weeks later, I was finally back home again. I hadn't heard from Jared since yesterday. It was a relief, I couldn't cope with the ache in my heart every time my phone rang. Filming was done unless they needed pick ups, I sincerely hoped not, I was physically and emotionally exhausted.

It was dark when I was woken by a noise, the bed dipped and I suddenly felt a hand gently run up my arm. I gasped turning over, it was Jared "it's me its me, sorry I didn't mean to frighten you" he whispered. I choked back a sob, the tears welling up in my eyes, he wrapped his arms around me pulling me against his chest, holding me tight until the wracking sobs subsided. "Don't cry baby" he murmured laying down with me, "go back to sleep it's like five am" I turned on my back, my eyes closing, I felt his hand slowly move over my stomach and I heard him gasped, he had felt the very tiny bump that had appeared that week. It was barely there, no one else would ever have noticed, but he knew every part of my body so well that he felt the small difference immediately. "Harper... " he whispered, I nodded sleepily. He kissed me gently on my lips, then lay back his hand staying there, his fingers lightly trailing my belly.

I woke a few hours later, Jared was still sleeping, I wondered what would happen, how could this possibly work? I gazed at him admiring his beautiful face, his hair falling over his cheek and neck. I pushed it gently back off his face. "What are you looking at?" he said startling me, his eyes opening, I smiled, "you, I missed you, your beard is growing" I said softly. Before he had a chance to reply, I suddenly felt the rise of nausea that had started happened at this time of the morning, "oh God!" I jumped out of bed rushing to the bathroom, vomiting. Jared followed me in, "you alright?" he said in a panicked voice, he knelt down next to me, pulling my hair away from my face. I sat back on my knees. I nodded, "I'm okay, it'll pass in a moment" I sighed, he looked at me worriedly, "will you be okay? What can I do? I'm going to go make you some tea, that should help won't it?" he asked. "Yes thank you, that would be great, I'll be down in a minute", he disappeared and I heard him going down the stairs. I cleaned up and went down, he had made tea I sat down and sipped it gratefully. "Better?" He asked, I nodded. "How do you feel are you okay, you look tired?" he said frowning, he sat down next to me holding my hand. "I'm tired, God, I feel and look like crap" I muttered, all at once I felt acute embarrassment at how terrible I must look. I ran a hand though my hair and tried to cover my face, I was convinced I looked awful these days. "You look beautiful Harper" he said smiling at me, my heart flipped at the look he gave me. "Did you forget I was coming?" he said giving me a grin, I shook my head, "I had remembered, but then I forgot exactly when and ... sorry I would have picked you up" I said biting my lip. "Nah its okay, I took an earlier flight, that's why I got in at such a ridiculous time and how would you pick me up? You haven't got a car" he grinned. "Well ....  I would have got The Tube, you know we've got that remember?" I said smiling. He laughed and shook his head. We sat there silently, I sipped my tea, feeling better. "So, can we talk?" he said gently, I sighed and nodded. "Have you thought about what, what you want to do?" It was his turn to sigh. "I've thought of nothing else, how could you do this Jared, you promised you would be careful and I know I should have as well, but you kept sneaking up on me and I would, forget, but you knew what you were doing?!" I said suddenly angry again. I stood up and started to pace, then I stopped. "Did you take my pills?" I demanded, "I already told you no" he said raising his eyebrows. "Whatever, that's neither here no there now..." I said frustratedly. "I'm sorry Harper, I know I should have been more careful, I got caught up, I didn't think it would happen" he said, "you weren't thinking" I snapped. He looked contrite "Look, just tell me what you're going to do, I'll support you whatever choice you make" he said frustratedly. I could see the defeat in his face. I turned to the counter and opened my diary grabbing something, I put it down in front of him and watched him as he looked down at it, his beautiful blue eyes widening in shock. "Is this ...?" he stared at the photo, then looked up at me. I nodded. "Are you, I mean, will you?" he stuttered, I nodded again, "yes" I whispered. He sprung up out of the chair and grabbed me, pulling me to him, he started kissing me, on the lips, all over my cheeks, my forehead, down my neck. I giggled as he nuzzled my neck, growling. He suddenly dropped to his knees in front of me and tentatively lifted up my singlet, baring my stomach to him. He gently pressed his lips to my belly, "baby.." he whispered, my heart started to beat at a hundred miles a minute and tears welled in my eyes. I slid my hands into his hair holding him to me as his arms slipped around my waist and he put his head against me, we stood there like this for a few moments, then I urged him to stand up. "I love you Harper" he said softly as he stood up, "I love you too" I said, he brushed away my tears and kissed me. He picked up the ultrasound photo and stared at it again, "wow, this is incredible, I can't believe it" he said in awe. I sighed, "are you happy?" he said a small frown marring his face. "I'm ... happy, I'm just scared .." I whispered, he nodded and pulled me against his chest. "I want to tell everyone, I want everyone to know..." he started to say excitedly, I quickly held up a hand. "No! You can't tell anyone, not yet anyway" I warned, his eyes narrowed, "I just want to keep it a secret for now, everyone will know soon enough" I said hoping he'd understand. "I guess you're right" he nodded. "But with one exception.." I murmured, he looked at me curiously. "You can tell your family" I said quietly. He grinned "Really?!! only if it's okay with you?", I nodded "sure you go ahead" a huge smile appeared on his face and he picked up his phone. "Hey mom, look I'm going to send you something, ring me back and try not to flip .... It's okay it's good, okay" he snapped a photo of the photo and sent it and we waited. His phone rang a couple of minutes later, I could hear her, she was so excited, I smiled at him. "Yes we're together I'm in London, I just got here last night ... she's not feeling that great maybe you can talk to her later ... I'll tell her" He finished talking and kissed me, "she was so excited, she wanted to talk to you, but I thought that might be a bit much, she said congratulations she's so happy" he said, "thank you, I could hear her" I laughed. "So do you want something to eat or.." I cut him off standing up, "no, I want to go upstairs please and you can fuck me because I'm so horny it's driving me insane" I said, his mouth dropped but he quickly recovered, "you should have said something earlier!" he grabbed my arm and dragged me upstairs.