When the day met the night

25

I was back filming, in the middle of nowhere, it was snowing which made the days all the more difficult and long. I was exhausted, I spent every spare moment catching up on sleep. It had been just over a month since I got back from LA. My mind was constantly on Jared, going back to our time together. I missed him so much, every time I heard his voice my heart ached. We spoke as often as we could and the messages came and went, he was coming over to see me in a few weeks and we were both counting down the days.

I was back in London for a couple of nights to attend a charity event. I was tired and all I wanted to do was curl up in front of the fire, but instead I was on a red carpet, talking to reporters and fending off questions about Jared. I was accompanied by Tom my co-star, thank goodness, he did his best to deflect their attention away from me as best he could. When they became more insistent, he grasped my hand and led me inside away from their prying cameras and mikes. "Thanks Tom, I was starting to suffocate" I whispered to him as he handed me a glass of champagne. He smiled grimly, "I could tell darling, they are absolute vultures the whole lot of them" I nodded in agreement. Halfway through the night once the formalities were over, we split up to mingle. I suddenly heard a voice in my ear, "well well, fancy meeting you here" I turned sharply coming face to face with my ex boyfriend. Matthew, I almost gasped, I had successfully managed to avoid him since we'd broken up, so I hadn't seen him for well over a year and a half. "Matt" I managed to spit out, trying to hide the look of disgust on my face. "Oh don't look like that, aren't you happy to see me?" he said with a smile, a smile that never reached his eyes. It was mocking and nasty. "Actually, no, so if you'll excuse me" I said attempting to move off. His hand reached out to clutch my arm, "now now, let's let bygones be bygones, no hard feelings, especially when you've done so well for yourself" he said, "what does that mean?" I said, though I knew exactly what he meant. "Come now, don't act stupid, you've got your big shot and you've sunk your claws into the famous Mr Leto, now tell me Harper, did the part come before or after you fucked him, I'm willing to bet after, I'm sure he opened all sorts of doors for you after you got on your knees for him" he sneered. I gasped, it was all I could do not to reach up and slap him across the face. I gritted my teeth, "not that it's any of your business, but I had that part long before I met him so don't you dare talk to me like that" I hissed at him. He raised his eyebrows at me, "really? well I am surprised, it's just that, well I never really thought you were that good an actress to be honest" he shrugged and smiled mockingly, I was fuming. At that precise moment a photographer came up and asked for a photo, "of course old chap, yes let's play pleasant ex-lovers hey Harper?" he said loudly. I forced a smile on my face as Matthew slid his arm around my waist and pulled me next to him. The photographer thanked us and moved off, I quickly moved away from him. "Don't ever fucking talk to me again" I said to him in a low voice, "oh no need to be like that, I get it, your money can't open every door but fucking a big Hollywood star can, when he gets bored with you feel free to give me a call" he said, I was stunned into silence. "Harper, I've been looking for you" Tom appeared at my side giving me a smile, I sighed in relief, "Matthew, how are you?" he said curtly. "Tom.." he nodded, but before he could say any more, "well we'd best be off, say goodbye Harper" said Tom, without waiting for a reply, he pulled me gently but firmly away. "Tom, thank you" I whispered gratefully as we walked out to the waiting car. As soon as we got in, he turned to me, "I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner, I heard the tale end of that but I was talking with someone, what an absolute bastard Harper" he said shaking his head. Suddenly the tears that had been threatening throughout the whole conversation spilt over and I choked back a sob. He pulled me against him and I cried quietly for a few minutes, while he patted my shoulder gently until I stopped. "Better?" he asked looking down at me. "Yes, I'm sorry Tom" I stammered wiping my cheeks. "Not at all" he smiled "for the record Harper, I was consulted in the casting and I championed you for the role, don't for a second believe him" he said, I was surprised. "Tom, I'm.. thank you" I said, "no need for thanks, you deserved it, he's obviously angry at you because of the fact that his career is in the toilet at the moment, but we all know he's only got himself to blame for that" he said darkly. I nodded quietly. We had arrived at my terrace, he got out and walked me to the door, "will you be okay?" he said as I unlocked it. "Yes thank you so much Tom, thank you.." I broke off and reached up to hug him. He hugged me back, "anytime darling, see you in a few days" he grinned. I shut the door behind me and walked up to my room, I was so tired and emotional I barely made it up there. I threw my clothes off, collapsed on the bed and fell into an exhausted sleep.

I had been dozing on and off for the last half hour when I heard my phone ringing. Jared. "Hi" I said sleepily, "hey, did I wake you?" the sound of his voice made my heart leap. "No I was awake" I said, he was quiet for a moment, then he spoke again, "so, I saw some photos from your night out" he said in a guarded voice. I sat up, "oh, I haven't had a look" I said quietly. "You looked beautiful" he replied. "Thanks" I murmured, there was silence again. I knew he had something was bothering him, "What is it Jared?" I asked sighing, "who was that guy?" he demanded, "who Tom?" I said surprised. "No, the one with his arms around you, who was telling everyone you were ex lovers!" he said quickly. I gasped, "Jesus! That asshole! He's... he's my ex boyfriend, we broke up, a while ago...he's still, sour about it.." I managed to say. "Why?" he said. "I ... I don't really want to talk about it Jared.." I said, "no, you don't get to keeping doing that, I want to know, stop keeping secrets Harper!" he snapped, suddenly the events of the previous night, the emotion I was feeling at missing him and his sudden attack finally broke me. I burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably. "Harper, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you" he said, I heard him sigh frustratedly. "What do you want to know Jared, that I was in love with a man who lied to me, who used me to get ahead in his career, who cheated on me?" I said through tears, "I'm sorry, just forget I said anything" he said quickly, "no, no, you want to know, I'll tell you all about that little humiliation, we'd been dating for a short time, but he was rushing things, trying to move in and telling me he wanted things more permanent between us, that kind of stuff, I didn't feel comfortable about, it just didn't feel quite right, it felt like it was moving too quickly, but I continued with the relationship, giving it a chance, he seemed so sincere, so I just let it continue ... the long and the short of it was, I was working on a series which he wanted in on, so he wormed his way into my life, getting friendly with everyone there..." I paused to gather the strength to continue, "and ... I walked in on him, fucking the producer, she was quite enamored by him at that point, he had landed a part and mine got put on permanent vacation, in the process I lost friends, and when I tried to fight back, he started saying that I only got the part because I had bribed people, which wasn't true of course, but you know how ugly rumors have a way of sticking... anyway funnily enough about 6 months later the show got cancelled, his girlfriend the producer caught him screwing one of the other stars and he hasn't really worked since, but he has a new story to tell people about me now .... that I only got this part because I'm fucking you" I finished quietly. I heard him growl in surprise, "that's not true, Harper everyone knows that's bullshit" he said angrily, "yes, but maybe that's what people think, it all happened around the same time, what if others are thinking that?" I said sadly. "Who's going to listen to that bastard, no one, Harper I'm sorry, I had no idea, but you've got to know people won't believe that shit, right?" he demanded. "I've got no idea what people will believe, people prefer a juicy lie to the truth... anyway, that's everything Jared, are you happy now? you know every little embarrassing secret about me now..." I trailed off, "Harper, I'm sorry, I was jealous, I didn't meant to upset you" he started to say, but I'd had enough, I cut him off. "I've got to go, I need to get ready", "no, don't hang up, please, talk to me" he pleaded. "I really haven't got time, I'm leaving today and I've got a million things to do" I said shortly, "I'll call you later, Harper I love you" he said, "bye Jared" I said in a hollow voice and hit end. I threw the phone across the room and lay back down letting the tears fall freely. It seemed that tears had become a regular occurrence since he had come into my life.