How to Date a Girl - A Gentleman's Guide

Chapter 4 - Getting to Know Phase

This phase is often mistaken as the time wherein you ask her out, but it actually isn't. This is the point where you befriend her and explore the world that she experiences, get to know her tastes, her hobbies, her friends, discover what makes her happy, detect what makes her explode, catch certain things that'll make her giddy, delve into her hobbies that you don't know. Uncover the mystery that is her, so that you are able to understand and appreciate her more than you can ever imagine.

This phase is exclusive only to find out about things about her, it isn't the part where you suddenly make a move at her. Instantly showing hints that you are smitten at her will seem like you just threw a grenade at her face.  It's like this  - a good student doesn't suddenly take a test, the student learns the lessons for the test and reviews it very carefully so that when the exam comes, the student knows it by heart, just like you will know her by heart.

An important reminder: DO NOT give out hints yet, and do not act differently around her. Just because you like her doesn't mean that you have to treat her like a high-class woman - a woman that you have to treat delicately. Act naturally - just be yourself. In this way, you do not only find out things about her, she also finds out what kind of a person you are. Hopefully, she'll find out that you're a guy who is fun to be with, who throws the perfect punchlines, always smiles at her jokes - corny or not, and is interested at her unusual fondness to certain things. In this way, she'll gradually open up to you, and you'll be able to find out more about her. It's all about opening up and showing your true qualities, and showing that your actions are genuine. Women appreciate genuineness, which is the one thing that us guys excel at.

Having different faces for different people is fine, but when it comes to her you have to show who you truly are. Do not show someone who acts cocky but is actually a wuss when surrounded by people who are more intimidating than you; show her the real you. Be honest, and nothing can go wrong. If you do  find out that she acts differently to different kinds of people, this is your opportunity to discover her true self. Make it known that you are trust worthy. Show her that you can keep that secret of her falling and slipping face-first from everyone. This phase is to build connections with each other, revealing each other while gaining a bond that grows stronger by the day. Trusting is a two-way street, show yourself as a truthful person, and she will show herself in the same way.

This phase will be a long and arduous task for guys, but the fruits of these will be worth the effort. As long as you present yourself just the way you are, you're all good. As you go along with this phase, she will drop some pointers as to how your progress is going. It can only go two ways - either you are succeeding and she trusts you more, or you are not what she expects of you, and she thrusts you away. And a quick note: although there's isn't a time limit at this phase, don't stay for too long. A year, at maximum. If you end up beyond that time, you might have just entrenched yourself into the friendzone territory. I'm not saying that you should be hasty, just remember to use your time wisely.

Over the next few chapters, I will be covering the steps on what will happen and what to do in case she doesn't like you, and I will also be covering the situations and steps when she seems looks she likes you. I suggest not skipping the next parts because you may use them for future reference, and also because you can model yourself as the guy that should not end up like so.