Life's Essence

17- Phil

Dallon's POV

Two Days After The Fire

We were all sitting in the so called "rec room" which was really just an empty room with a couple couches, a few chairs and tables, a sad looking house plant, a book shelf with five books about to fall apart, and a chess board that was missing some pieces and had miscellaneous replacements like paper clips and buttons.

I was sitting with Josh and Patrick at one of the tables, but wasn't really engaged in to conversation. My mind kept wondering over to Brendon and how he was coping. I knew for a fact what he did was eating away at him way more than he let on.

I know he doesn't want me to worry, but I can't help it. Whatever happened to him in there was making him doubt everything he knew, or I guess thought he knew, about himself.

"Dallon!" I was shaken by my thoughts by someone shouting my name. I looked up and saw both Josh and Patrick staring at me.

"Huh? What?" I asked, trying to bring myself back to reality.

"I was asking if you're ok, but that kind of gives me my answer..." Patrick said with a sympathetic look. Out of the three of us, Patrick is the only one who hadn't been "punished" and is probably the most stable. Josh and I get really emotional and can easily over-react (for example during the fire both of us were freaking the fuck out while Patrick was just calmly pushing us toward the exit) while Patrick always remains level headed.

"I'm just worried about Brendon, he kind of had a break down the other day during out visit, but I don't blame him at all. Just worried."

"Oh yeah, I forgot he had to do that..." Josh said with a frown.

"Yeah, he's convinced he's completely ruined now. I know he can come back from it."

He might not be the same Brendon as he was before, but he can be close to the same. And even stronger than before. But, that's only if he can get through this initial first few months or so. That's what I'm really worried about. I've stories here about previous people who had to do the same thing.

They were able to get through actually torturing somebody, but ended up committing suicide out of the guilt and insanity of breaking like that. I'm just so, so worried about how Brendon is dealing with things right now.

"Maybe you should talk to Phil since Brendon has been talking to Dan. Maybe he can give you some advice or just help calm your mind." I sat still for a few moments before slightly nodding my head.

"Yeah, that'd probably be good. Do you know where he is?"

"He's over there next to the plant staring out the window." I looked over and sure enough, there he was looking at the window with a small smile on his face. That's one thing everyone around here loved about Phil, despite all the shit he's been through, he's still so happy and positive all the time.

"I'll be right back," I said.

"Good luck!" Josh answered as I stood up from the table. I walked over to him, and when he heard me approaching he turned around to look at me.

"Hey Phil, can I talk to you?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course! Here," he scooted further over on the ledge of the window to give me room to sit with him.

"What's up?" he asked, curiosity in his wide blue eyes.

"Well um, a couple days ago, Brendon had to...you know...do what Dan had to do last year." Instantly Phil's eyes grew a little bit sad.

"Oh, that's horrible. Dan hasn't been quite the same since then..."

"Well, that's kind what I wanted to talk to you about. How did you help Dan through it enough that he's at least still here? I just talked with Brendon for this first time since it happened the day of the fire, and he just broke down. I did what I could, but I just don't know if I did the right things." I said uncertainly.

"Well, with Dan, he normally doesn't like to talk about his feelings much, but I made him do it anyways. It's when things get bottled up that they become dangerous, you know?" He paused to push his glasses back up onto the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah, normally Brendon is very honest with me, but I have a feeling he was kind of holding back this last time because he didn't want to worry me too much." I answered.

"Oh, yeah Dan would do that to. I ended up having to be just really blunt with him. Explain to him that by doing that, he's actually only making you worry even more. That'll make him quit doing that right away. Is Brendon talking with anyone else when you're not with him? That will help a lot, but I couldn't get Dan to do that. I feel like that's part of the reason why he's so shut down now." He grew sad toward the end of his sentence, but snapped out of it kind of quick and returned his gaze to me, waiting for my response.

"Yeah, he talks with Tyler since he's his roommate, but he's also been talking with Dan a lot too."

"Oh good! I'm glad he's talking to him. Dan doesn't talk to many people anymore, socializing in any way will be good for him. For both of them."

After rec time was over, we were sent back to our rooms. Josh and I sat and tried to successfully volley an old bouncy ball between the two of us while we waited for our "dinner" to be brought in. Today was Thursday so we would be getting one piece of toast, half a cup of oatmeal, and a bottle of water. Boring, bland, but just enough to keep us alive. As we sat there eating our food, Josh broke the silence.

"Hey Dal?" I looked up to acknowledge that I heard him, but didn't answer because I was in the middle of chewing.

"We should form a secret club that only you and I can be in."

"Why?"

"So, other people will be jealous of us."

"What do you suggest we call this club?"

"The Cool Dudes Club."

"Fine."

"Sick."

A/N- I only have 1 request I'm working on for the one shot book at the moment, if you have a requeat now would be a good time to ask! Just go to the intro of the book and leave it there!