Panic Attack (Jc Caylen)

12. Chasing You

"If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward." -Martin Luther King Jr.

JC'S P.O.V.

The moment I pulled up into my drive a smile broke out onto my face. Before me stood my family reflected my smile.  The moment I opened my door I was engulfed in a huge.

"Jc, your home!" My sister yelled in excitement.

"Yeah I am! I don't think I am leaving anytime soon either."

"Good. I don't like it when you leave." The way she told me with a frown etched into her features broke my heart. I left them the same way I left Emily. One day they all came home and I was gone and I never thought I would becoming back, lead alone with shattered hopes of one day having the girl I have dreamt of my entire life. It would have been absurd if you asked me a couple months ago that I would leave and just give up for the benefit of some one else. The one I love. Then it would have just been a joke to me, like you were playing with me, but now I realize there is more to life than myself for example Emily. The girl of unknown beauty. I wonder if she knows I am gone. Has she seen the note?

EMILY'S P.O.V.

It all hit me like a ton of bricks. I should have never said no. I should have never acted like he isn't my reason to go on. I shouldn't have been so naïve. It was all laid out in front of me and I was too oblivious to see the truth. To see he is the one I want. Jc, he was right.  I was just to blind to take a look at what was brought before me. I realize now I would do anything to have him. I would 1000 oceans, I would fly across the world to see that smile I stole along with any happiness after I broke his as well as my own heart

 In the corner of my eye I spot a wrinkle paper with words scribbled across as if he was in a rush. I walked towards his desk, tears pricking in my eyes. This could be all I have left of him. I don't even know if he will accept me. I scanned over the paper in my hands, tear drops cascading down my cheek, slipping of my chin staining the paper.

ark or word written. I sat down and began to write everything on my mind.

Dear O2L boys, Ashley and Emily,

I am sorry I have to leave so suddenly, but it’s for the best. I am moving back in with my family, so I can give Emily the space that she deserves. I obviously did something wrong and I shouldn’t punish because of my actions I am still unaware of. I know Emily doesn’t want me to get in the way of her and if anyone deserves to suffer it’s me. Emily can move on from this mess and forget that I ever and still do love her. Forever and always. I will suffer of a broken heart and she can find someone who she believes is the right one for her. I know I am not the one in her eyes. I can see it when I look into them. It burns my heart to shreds, but any pain is worth it for her. She can shatter my heart into miniscule pieces, so tiny that you can’t see them anymore, but I can mend it with just the thought of her smile, her eyes, her humor, anything and everything.

Emily, if you ever read this. I am sorry for pushing you and ruining or friendship. I know we can’t be friends anymore but the main reason is because I can’t look at you the same. You are everything to me and I can just be friends with someone so beautiful, so perfect. Words can’t explain how I feel when I am around you. I knew from the beginning you were something spell. When I hear your name my heart beats on million times faster, when I see you my palms go sweaty and knees go weak, when you smile I smile. I know you will never understand how I feel about you because you don’t feel the same way. I don’t want to stick around and make everything worse. You told me yourself you don’t love nor like me back. I was always taught to chase my dreams, but I got lost along the way and never found a way out.