r.a.b times (joshler)

chapter 2

Soon after a few more minutes I could see the bridge. It was a rusted brown color painted with graffiti. The wood boards were rotten and muddy. My hands wrapped around the metal railing as I pushed myself up onto the beam and stood there looking at the ground below me. The bridge was maybe about thirty feet above a loud obnoxious river. There were also sharp rocks below the white foaming water.

My hands were shaking and I felt like I was going to slip any second. The thought of death didn't scare me. Instead it just made me happy to think that there was an escape from my thoughts. I also didn't believe in heaven or hell. It made more sense that after death there was nothing. All your memories are just gone the second your heart stops beating.

I haven't ever really thought about it before but I realised that no one would miss me. Not my family or my friends. Or even my fans that I thought I had. I cringed at the thought while more tears started to form. I thought about it and realised that Nick was probably right about us not ever really having fans. It was all in my head. Everything was just a daydream that I thought would come true. How could I be so stupid to think that my music would get me anywhere in life. He was right.

Just do it. I thought. For some reason I was stalling by distracting myself witb thinking. I took a last glance at the world that I would no longer going to be apart of. Looking down I saw my escape. One foot left the beam and my hands lost their grip around the pole. In that moment I believed it was finally over but it wasn't.

I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around my skinny torso. Whoever it was tried to pull me away from the railing but I refused. My hands griped onto the metal so tightly that I thought it would break. This person was stronger and they managed to pull me away.

"No! No! No!" I yelled. My voice cracking each time.

One of the arms around me released but the other still had a firm grip. I heard a car door open behind me. Soon my feet left the ground as I was lifted by the person. I turned my head to see who this awful human being was that ruined my chance to escape. I expected to see someone totally different than I did.

It was a man like I had expected but he looked to be my age. Maybe around 23. He had brown curls that fell across his face nicely and his eyes were a soft brown with hints of green. His gauges hid behind his curls while his nose ring was very noticeable.

I still tried to squirm out of his arms although he didn't look as mean as I thought. He griped me tighter while he gently set me down in the backseat of his car. I quickly bolted for the other door the second I was free.

"Stop! No it's ok! I'm not gonna hurt you!" He said. His voice was the prettiest thing that I had ever heard. He sat down next to me but left the door on his side slightly open. I gave up trying to get out by violently shaking the door handle. I put my forearms onto the door and lay my head down between them and started to make loud sobbing noises. I could feel his eyes looking at me.

After about a minute of silence I turned to look at him. A profound look of concern and sadness was spread across his face.

"Why did you do that?" I asked weakly. You could hear the anger in my voice.

"Why were you going to jump?" He asked softly.

I sighed and looked away for a moment. I had not calmed down yet and still had the urge to end my life. After a moment I quickly tried to jump trough the door on his side. Of course I didn't make it out.

"S-stop! Please don't! It's gonna be okay. Everything is going to be okay." He tried to tell me but I wouldn't listen. I could tell from his voice that he was nervous. Not many people find themselves in these situations.

"It will be once I'm dead!" I screeched. I kicked and screamed but he wouldn't let go. "Just let me kill myself. I'm so tired of living. Please." I whispered the last part. I gave up and relaxed in his arms. He didn't let go even though he probably knew that I was done.

He sat back onto the door while my head rested on his chest. Each time I sniffled he just repeated the phrase "It's gonna be okay." I still refused to believe that it would be. I was a mess. My life was a mess and I thought I could get away from it. But maybe I was suppose to suffer. I felt my mind starting to drift and my eyes shut. It is surprising how tired you get from crying.