r.a.b times (joshler)

chapter 3

I'm ready for the new heavy dirty soul music video.
~ava

I woke up by rolling off the seat onto the floor of the car.

"Fuck." I said as I opened my eyes and looked around. I started to panic because of not knowing where I was. Soon a wave of memories washed over me. I had tried to kill myself. The thought made me feel weird because I was still alive. Looking out of the car window I saw the night sky. Except there were no trees which meant I was no longer in the woods. A quiet humming noise that sounded like a Green Day song filled the car.

Immediately I remembered the curly haired boy who stopped me from falling. I sat up a little to glance at him in the driver's seat. He had a focused look across his face. I bet he was tired because of how late it was. He looked so pretty with the light of the street lamps shinning on him making his features stand out. I didn't even know his name but I felt like I had known him for years. I was no longer mad at him for stopping me. Instead I was just sad, tired, and confused about how to continue my life. I didn't have a plan since I thought I was done battling my demons.

What now? I thought.

Looking through the front window I saw that the car was pulling into a gas station. The light from outside shifted. My gaze fell upon the brightly lit seven eleven. We parked and the curly haired boy turned to look at me. His eyes went wide probably because he thought I was asleep. A light pink color surfaced on his cheeks.

"You're awake." he said with a nervous smile.

"Yup." I replied.

"For how long?" He asked.

"Long enough to hear you humming Green Day." I said while lightly smiling.

"Oh... um..." He looked away trying to remember something that he was going to say. "I gonna go get a red bull. Do you want anything?"

I wanted a red bull also, but I felt bad that he was gonna buy me something. "Uh... no I'm fine, but thanks."

"Do you mind waiting in here." He said still sounding nervous to talk to me.

"Yeah it's fine." I replied. He nodded at stepped out of the car. I stared at him as he walked away. He was so attractive. So attractive that he didn't even seem real. I found a lot of guys attractive because I was gay but he was attractive in such a different way. He was wearing black skinny jeans and blue t-shirt that hung loosely on his shoulders. He was also skinny but seemed like he had a little bit of muscle unlike me.

I wasn't a very healthy person. I ate very little and had a gaunt figure. My face was so pale that someone could mistake me for a ghost. I wasn't anorexic or bulimic, I just never had an appetite. I use to when I was younger and happy. I was healthy and played basketball for exercise, but once I started to get depressed my weight started to dwindle.

I smiled at the thought of my youth. Those were good times and they could have lasted longer if I didn't fuck them up. Once I came out I ruined everything for myself. My parents and my friends hated me so I started to hate me too. I got depressed once I knew that everyone was done with me. I wasn't myself anymore. It sucked to think that I could never go back to the good times in my life.

The opening of the car door startled me. I shot my head and locked eyes with the curly haired boy. He clicked his seatbelt in and started the car. The car backed up and then turned out of the parking lot. Suddenly I realised that I didn't even know where we were going. Oh god... I thought as I realised that he might be taking me to a hospital. Going to the hospital wasn't the bad part though. The worst part was being sent to a mental hospital afterwards. Those places were hell. It was like a jail full of crazy people. I went to one when I was 17 because I tried to overdose. The thought of it started to make me get shaky. I couldn't go back to one, I just couldn't.

"W-where are we going?" I asked with a quiet voice.

I startled him making him swerve a little. I think I had might have interrupted his thoughts or something. "Sorry what did you say?" He asked with an apologetic voice.

"Where are we going?"

"Oh... um..." he seemed to nervous to tell me. "Well if it is alright with you, I was just going to take you to my apartment because of how late it is. Also..." He trailed off. "We could maybe talk a little about what happened." He sounded so cautious while speaking to me. He probably was assuming that anything could make me freak out and run away.

"Yeh... sure." I said hesitantly. I didn't want to tell him problems even though he seemed nice and not judgmental.

The car was silent for the rest of the drive. I had fallen asleep a few times but I tried my best to stay awake. We soon pulled into a garage of an apartment building. I had no idea where we were though because I wasn't paying attention on the ride here. Instead I stared at the curly haired boy, admiring how attractive he was.

He got out of the car and opened my door for me. I blushed feeling dumb for not opening it my self.

"Oh thanks." I said with a nervous tone. He smiled back at me and nodded.

I went to shut my door and as I did my hand lightly brushed his. As cliché as it sounds I thought that I felt a spark. Tingles ran down my back and my heart started to beat faster. I tried to brush it off and forget about it. I didn't even know who he was, he could be a murderer for all I know.