r.a.b times (joshler)

chapter 8

"Thanks." I heard Josh say before he turned around to me.

"Do you want to look around for a bit? He said it will take about 15 minutes."

"Yeah, sure." I replied. The expression on Josh's face indicated that he was confused to why I was acting so weird all of a sudden.

"You okay?" I heard him say as we headed down one of the isles in the store.

"You ask me that a lot." I replied.

He ran his fingers though his brown curls causing for them to fall across his face. "Oh sorry... I just um... well-"

"I get it." I said with a hint of frustration in my voice. I didn't mean to get upset. There was so much going on right now and I was mostly just anxious about Michael being here. I prayed to god he wouldn't see me.

Josh went quiet as we continued to walk around the vast store. My eyes grazed over every little thing on the shelves. This place almost had every item that had to do with instruments and music.

Not a word was said between us. The silence made me anxious. I contemplated starting up a conversation but decided against the idea. Instead I listened to the inaudible hum of music and the sound of Josh tapping on his thigh to the beat of the song. After a while of awkwardly walking down the isles the sound of his footsteps stopped. I turned to see him staring at the pianos that were set up on display. Oh god. I thought.

What he said next didn't surprise me. "Hey Tyler, there's like some pianos over there." He pointed to the three black wooden pianos.

"There is?" I said sarcastically. A small laugh escaped my lips because of Josh's awkwardness.

"You said you play the piano, didn't you?"

"I do... are you wanting me to play something?" I asked playing dumb.

"Yeah you should..." he said with a cheery smile, "...but like only if you want to."

His smile sent me over the edge. I still couldn't get over how cute he was. My heart felt like it was now beating three times faster than it was before. I nodded and gave in to the idea. Although I didn't want to play and draw attention to us I took a seat on the piano bench. I'd only play something simple. All of my songs had lyrics but I was certain that I would not sing for him.

My fingers hit the keys rhythmically. I took a deep breath to dismiss the nervous feeling in my stomach. I played about thirty seconds of my song Implicit Demand For Proof before turning to see Josh's reaction. A huge grin was spread across his face and I couldn't help but feel a little bit happy that he enjoyed the song.

"That was amazing. What song was that?" He asked.

"Implicit Demand For Proof." I replied simply.

"Never heard of it. Who is it by?"

"Um... I don't remember." I replied with a nervous laugh following my words.

"Oh. Well, you are really good."

"Thanks. You should play the drums for me once we get back."

He nodded. "Yes, I will. I promise."

I stood up so I was eye level with him. He looked back with a huge shiny smile still on his face. He seemed to be having a good time.

"You still up for Taco Bell after this." I mentioned.

"Of course. I prac-"

"Hello Josh!" A cheery voice came from besides us. "Your drum is ready to go. It will be..." Michael stopped talking. Before he even said anything I already knew that he saw me.

"Tyler?" I turned so I could face him. I briefly took my hand from my sweatshirt pocket to wave at him. "Tylerr!" he said extending the sound of the r.

"Hello." I said a lot less enthusiastic than him.

"I haven't seen you in a while. What has it been? Like a month?"

"Yep. I think so." My voice was high and my words came out shaky. I wanted to be anywhere but here. Michael saying hi to me wasn't the problem. It was the question that he might ask that I didn't want Josh to know about. My band.

Michael took a few steps towards me, swinging an arm around my shoulder. The sudden invasion of space made me uncomfortable. "How's the band?" He asked through a toothy smile. I looked at Josh who seemed a little taken aback by the new information.

"G-good..." I started to say until the familiar feeling of anxiety shot through my already nervous self. I stepped forward, forcing myself from Michael's hold around me. Tears gathered in my eyes and I couldn't help but feel so pathetic. I shook my head as I looked back at Josh and Michael who eyebrows were both furrowed together, a confused expression on both of their faces.

I couldn't do this. Everything started to spin and my feet felt heavy. I did my best to start running off towards the door ignoring the shouts I heard behind me. The bell on the door dinged loudly as I forcefully pushed it open. I didn't even know where I was headed but I took off down the sidewalk.

Back in January when I planned out the story for this fic I thought it was some what decent, but now I'm finding so many problems with it. I think I might stop writing and someday restart this same fic but with a better and more dramatic plot. It's still a thought, nothing is certain. I have other ideas for fics that I'd rather write so maybe I'll try that instead. Here is chapter 8 that I wrote a long ass time ago but was too self conscious to post.

~ava :)