r.a.b times (joshler)

chapter 5

My eyes fluttered opened and I looked around the very unfamiliar room. I turned my head to see the bed next to me. I must have rolled off of it during the night. My hair was sprawled out over the carpet. I lay there for a little while looking at the ceiling. A little light poked through the blinds of the window causing lines of light to strike through the room. Eventually I got curious about the time and sat up a bit to look at the clock. "6:26"

"Ugh." I groaned while standing up to lay on the bed. I didn't get much sleep last night which made me feel weak and tired while moving. My mind wouldn't stop. I kept thinking about what I was going to do once I left the curly haired boy's apartment. It scared me to know that I had no where to go. I had nobody that cared about me anymore. I became angry and frustrated that I wasn't successful with killing myself. If I hadn't tripped on that rock then I probably would have jumped off sooner and the curly haired boy wouldn't have caught me. Everyone would be better off without me around still.

A burning smell started fill the room followed by a someone shouting. "Shit!" In frustration. I sat up with a puzzled look on my face. It sounded like someone was cooking in the kitchen. I got off the bed to grab my sweatshirt that I left on the floor. My feet shuffled across the beige carpet over to the door. I opened it and cautiously walked towards the kitchen. I leaned around the corner and scanned the room until my eyes landed on him. He stood there facing towards the counter with his back to me. It looked like he was making pancakes. He wore similar pajamas to mine and his brown curly hair was a mess. I watched him for a brief moment and then stopped deciding that I was being creepy.

"Hello." I said with a quiet raspy voice. He jumped a little and turned around to face me. His face was slightly pink because of the heat coming from the griddle.

"Oh hi...yeh uh... I thought that I would make us pancakes." He said awkwardly. I nodded. A tiny laugh escaped my lips.

"At six in the morning?" I asked with a grin.

"Yeah. I couldn't really sleep. Also I haven't eaten in a while." He shrugged and turned back to the griddle to take the pancakes off. I walked over to the other side of the counter so that I was facing him.

"Are these the rejects?" I asked while gesturing to the plate full of brunt pancakes.

He chuckled and smiled. "Yeah... I'm not really the best cook."

"Me neither. I typically just order Taco Bell and call it a night." I said while looking at the ground.

"Oh my god. I fucking love Taco Bell." His voice filled with excitement.

Once the rest of the pancakes were done he set them on a plate. He walked over to a white cabinet to grab some more plates. My plate was set in front of me while he started to stack pancakes on his. I wasn't hungry like usual but It would be rude to not have any. It looked like he had worked hard to accomplish not burning all of the pancakes. I set one on my plate turned to see the curly haired boy sitting on the couch with only about half as many pancakes then what he started with.  He patted the empty spot besides him wanting for me to sit next to him. I awkwardly strode over to him and sat down. We sat there while silence fell between us.

"How did you sleep?" He asked.

"Um... actually not the best." I replied. He nodded in response and set his empty plate onto the table in front of us. His eyes glanced down and he frowned once he saw that I had only taken a few bites of my pancake.

"The pancakes aren't that bad are they? I know I'm not the best cook-"

"No. No, it's not that. They are really good." I said showing a kind smile. "I'm just not that hungry." His face full of concern over the fact that I could hardly eat. He opened his mouth again to speak but then stopped himself. I hoped he wasn't going to mention something about me being unhealthy skinny. Instead he said something completely different.

"Sorry I never asked, but what your name?" He questioned while nervously picking at a loose thread on his shirt.

"Oh... my uh... name is Tyler." I replied.

"I'm Josh." He said with a smile.