Tell them, tell them.
Voices have been eating me up inside,
Scraping at my core and mind,
Trying to get what they want.
Guilt has been crawling on my skin,
Creating goosebumps and shivers at any touch,
Forming lumps in my throat when I attempt to talk.
My heart and mind are battling for control,
And I don't know which one I want to win.
I pace at night,
I bite my fingernails,
I fear my parents.
I shouldn't fear them.
They're my family.
But, I'm scared they won't accept me for being gay,
I'm scared I'll be thrown out,
As if I have an expiration date,
As if I'm a stain on their household,
As if I'm worn-out.
I'm scared that if I tell them,
They won't want to look at me,
As if I'm some monster,
Or disgrace.
But today is the day I'm telling them.
I'll march down to the kitchen,
Look them in the eyes and say it.
I start walking down the stairs,
Trying to not make too much noise.
I see my mom and dad standing there,
Little mugs are in their hands that are full of steaming coffee,
And I hear quiet chatter.
I walk on in,
Twiddling my thumbs and biting my lip,
And I clear my throat to catch their attention.
Time seems to stand still,
And I can feel their eyes piercing me.
"Mom, Dad,
I have something I want to tell you."
I close my eyes,
And I take a deep breath before continuing,
"Recently, I've met a girl.
You've met her,
And I like her... a lot."
I can feel tears brimming my eyes,
I try to hold it together, but it's not working.
I feel myself falling apart,
Like it's an act for a show,
But I keep going.
I look at them,
Smile a bit,
And say the last sentence
That could determine their love for me.
I might have to pack my bags tonight,
I might be shunned,
I might be hated,
But at least I won't have to lie,
I can be honest about my feelings,
And that's what matters most.
"I'm gay."
I can't see their reaction.
I'm terrified.
I'm shaking.
I feel myself start to cry.
Suddenly, I'm wrapped up in a warm hug,
And all of my worries seem to melt away.
I know it's been a while since I've updated, but I've been sick for about 3 weeks. Today is the first day I finally feel well enough to write. But I hope all of you guys are having a good 2017 so far.
I might be a little inconsistent with my writing this month since I'm going to be very busy with school and other outside activities. It's just a lot of stress, but I hope I manage to find time to write more of this story.
Okay, rant over. Have a great 2017!
YOU ARE READING
Strawberry Smoothie (Hiatus)
Poetry"Is it wrong to love someone? Your heart becomes as fragile as glass, and I'm scared she will shatter it, because she doesn't want a strawberry smoothie" The story of a girl, loving a girl who's too scared to love again. Cover created by: @myfo...
