I started walking and shortly arrived a few minuets later, my old house looked untouched. I looked at it and memories came flooding back from when I was little, to when Gracie was a baby, and all of the obstacles we faced being a family. i rememebered when my father taught me how to first ride my bike, my mum first letting me use her make-up, when my mum walked in with Gracie in her arms the day she was born. I smiled at the few memories that played through my head but, as quickly as I remembered the good I also remebered the bad. Getting worse from when I found my mum and looking out of the window as they took her away in the ambalance. Even when my dad told me 'Lil? Mummy isn't coming back home. She went to be with Jesus in heaven.' At first I was so confused and didn't understand, but after a while things started to sink in and I realised that my mum was gone. For good. It wasn't until later my dad decided that I was old enough to be told the reason behind why mum was gone.
I shook of the feeling of crying and walked into the house. There was always a key under the mat so I used it to unlock the door. When I entered I felt at home, like Gracie was going to come pounding down the stairs and squeese me tight. She always looked up to me because I was the closest thing sha had to a mum.
I pulled out my phone, seeing it was almost 5 so I decided to watch a movie and then sleep. I tossed my bag on the sofa as I plopped myself down in a seat. I turned on the TV with the remote that sat untouched since the last time we where here. I sighed at the sight of Finding Nemo was still in the DVD player. I decided against changing it. I didn't feel like changing it. I didn't feel like getting up.
Through out the movie my phone would buzz, but I decided to ignore it. Until it finally pushed my bottons. I gripped my phone that sat beside me, not bothering to check who it was and pressed answer... shouting down the speaker. 'WHAT!' I asked whoever was on the other end.
'Lillian, we need to talk.' That all to familliar voice filled the speaker giving away that it was indeed my now ex-boyfriend.
'There is nothing to talk about and there is no way you can convince me to come back to you. Not after this.' I told him bluntly. Comfirming to both him and I that I wasn't going to listen to his excuses that he was bound to make up. There is no good reason on this earth for playing with a girl like he did... with who ever she was!
'Lillian, it wasn't like that' He said trying to reason with me.
'It sure seemed that way!' I hung up and continued with the rest of the movie. By the time I was finnished it was 6:18. I decided to go to bed early, not wanting to stay up with this reality flaunting itself in my face. I was going to sleep in my old room but I decided against it. Going past my room to the door down the hall. I looked in the room taking everything about it. The dark tan walls, the brown carpet, typical shades from cream to chocolate on the stripped duvet that covered the queen size bed, the picture frame that held a photo of me and my little sister growing up. The last picture caught my eye, it has always been my favourite since I was little. It was my mother. She was standing on the beach laughing, with a grin as big as texas covering her face. Her hair flew with the wind, making her look like a model out of a magazine. I smiled, seeing my dad had draped the first ever necklace he got her around the frame.
Yet again tears stung my eyes. I let them fall freely without realizing it. I didn't bother to change before climbing into my parents old bed, the smell of the room making it feel like they were just here, like it was the old times. I cried myself to sleep knowing i could never go back and fix what happened. This was permanent and I couldn't fix this, the only thing that I could fix was the way that I feel right now. As I fell asleep I felt arms wrap around my waste. I was to tired to turn and look who it was but those arms felt very familiar.
'I will always be your cuddle buddy.' His irish voice filled my ears before I fell into a deep relaxing sleep.
