I startled a little when I saw the arm around me and jumped making the person behind me pull me closer to them.
'Stay still Lillian.' His irish accent whispered to me. It finally clicked. He was the one I heard before I fell asleep. I moved and tried to wringle out of his grip.
'Niall, why are you here? How did you find me?' I asked quickly as I saw his eyes start to open, revealing those breath taking blue eyes that were so easy to get lost in.
'I kind of figured that you would be here.' He told me rubbing his eyes.
'Why?'
'Well I gave you Aunt a ring and she said that you rang to see if you could stay the night there but she told you that it was a bad time... so I thought were would you go if you were upset so I came here.' He explained to me.
I sighed and got off the bed. 'Lillian?' Niall got up and followed me.
'Hm?' I sounded indicating that he should leave.
'Will you please come back to our flat with me please?' I looked back and he had a serious look on his face, eyes slightly widened.
'I don't want to be there' I paused 'I can't be there right now.'
'Why?' He asked looking disapointed.
'You know exactly why.' I shook my head, how did I get into this positin? I went from being a normal girl with a father who was still here and an annoying obsessed little sister that I still love to death. Now? Now i'm with the most famous boy band in the entire world, and two of the guys are twisting me in their love games.
Before I knew what was happening Niall had grabbed my wrist and spun me around to face him. 'Your telling me that youdon't feel it too?' He quickly bought his lips to mine. I felt the butterflies fluttering in my stomach again but I couldn't kiss him. Not now. Not in this house.
I pushed him off me. 'Niall not here, not in this house.' Maybe leaving wasn't the best idea....staying at my old house. Niall probally thinks that I don't feel the same, that I don't feel a sudden shiver eveytime he looks at me, that I don't feel those little butterflies in my stomach with every touch. I walked down the narrow side walk, I guess I was expecting him to come after me, but I guess that only happens in soppy love movies. Why would anyone run after someone who pushed them away? I feel pretty bad about the it was just a bad time and place for that to happen. Tears stung me eyes when realization hit me in the face. Hard. Tears slipped as sniffed qand continued to walk down the boring grey sidewalk. I decided to walk back to the compartment complex that wasn't far from my ho- old house.
I held a deep breath, holding it for a moment looking at the complex building. I was such a beautiful sight filled with ugly secrets. You never know what is going on inside, you just assume that because the outside looks pretty then everything inside is good. I guess thats what harry thought of me. He just assumed that I was a nomal person, but what is normal when all is hectic? Normal could be anything. It all depends on who raised you and what you believe in. I exhaled and sharp breath and made my way to the lobby, continuing to the lift that dung showing its arrival. I have always hated this lift and its stupid music. When it dung again the doors opened reviling a washed up Harry and his 'friend'.
'Hey love.' Harry said with a smile acting like nothing even happened. 'Hi.' I said bluntly pushing past him and this girl. I didn't need to be a bother much less than I wanted to speak to Harry. I don't understand him at all. How can you just say 'hello' to a girl that you have played like an Nintendo.
'Lillian, whats wrong?' He followed behind me. I spun on my heels glaring at him.
'Like you don't know.' I spat and continued to make my way to Niall and I's flat. Just before going in I spat 'Oh and by the way Harry...We...are...over.' I smiled and made my way in. On the outside it probally looked like I was fine but on the inside I knew that I was far from it. I need somthing to get these emotions out.
It clicked in my head, my mind telling me it will be okay but my heart telling me that it would end nasty in the end. So I did it. I looked around quickly in the kitchen drawers pulling out what looked like a sharp knife. It was the answer to my problems, that what I told myself but my heart told me it wasn't. I gripped the handle tight, taking it into my room. I locked the door and sat on my bed. I heard someone come in but I really didn't care. Just as I put the knife up to my wrist someone banged on the door, scaring the s#!t out of me. This caused me to jump, making the knife slip and cut deep into my wrist.
I let out a yelp. 'Lil? You okay?' it was Liam. 'What was that about?' I heard Louis laugh. The blood was currently dripping down my arm. I really didn't think this through did I? s#!t s#!t s#!t. I thought as a drop if blood fell on my bed. Tears started streaming again. Why was I willing to do this to myself?
'LILLIAN!' Louis screamed.
'Guys, i'm fine.' I lied. The pain was shooting up my arm and the blood was still seeping out of my arm. 'Liam do you have your credit card?' I heard Louis ask. They were going to see this. I quickly shoved the knife into my bag with the hand I had free. My blood was on my hands making me want to puke. I was supposed to be here alone, but I guess when you have 5 boys hanging around you don't get that. I heard a click. They got it. I bolted to my bed, wraping the sheets quickly around my arm. I will now have to wash them.
'Are you okay?' Liam asked me. I nodded. 'You look really pale Lillian.' He said with a serious tone. Louis lost his smile and was looking at the sheets. His hand gestured to a spot, 'Is that blood?' His eyebrows scrunched together. I REALLY didn't cover this up well.
'It's nothing.' I said bluntly. Trying to sound like I didn't know what he was talking about.
'Lillian, if it is nothing then pull down the sheets.' Liam said with concern. My eyes flickered between them. I shook my head. My arm still burnt with pain, screming and yelling to be atteneded to. Just then another person walked in.
'Hey, anybody here?' Nialls voice filled the flat, he sounded upset and his voice was scratchy.
'In here mate.' Liam called out to the irish lad making his way over. He saw the sheets and concern filled his eyes. He came closer looking into my eyes. 'what's this?' Niall asked me with concern stepping forward. He gently took hold of the sheets pulling them back and i whinced as he pulled them back. There faces dropped.
'What is this about?' Niall asked worriedly 'Please don't tell me that I did this' He said shaking his head as his face started to flood red and a tear streamed down his face. I shook my head.
'No never! I just....' I searched for the words and then faster than it all happened it wall poured out. All about my mum, my dad and how I couldn't stand the hate. 'I got fed up with myself, my life, problems. I chose the wrong way out and i'm sorry.' I finnished and Louis and Liam were standing there akwardly standing there unsure of weather to leave it or not. Niall pulled me into a tight hug, leaving my cut arm to sit akwardly on the side. Niall whispered in to my ear, 'I'm sorry Lillian.'
