Crossing Family Boundaries.

What Have I Done😨😱

Yo are you shitting me right now Ari what the fuck did you do. That's what i kept telling myself all the time in my room in my mind with just me, myself, and god all i could do was just cry and sit in my room trying to get a hold of Jamal which i have not gotten yet since yesterday when that incident accured not to mention this happened the day of Christmas are you serious Ari? I was about as fucked up as a crack addict how could i do this to my family on Christmas day this was one of the most fucked up Christmas i had and everybody else was gonna have i was gonna give my family a present alright but, they sure as hell wouldn't like it. I remember sitting in my room crying my eyes out it felt like two twin waterfalls how all my tears was just falling down because i knew at this exact moment i fucked up godamn Ari you fucked up bad this time, i didn't think about what i did until i realized how much it was gonna hurt my mom when i tell her that's if i decide to tell her which i feel like i shouldn't but eventually she would see it and would want to know what if she takes me to the doctor for a check up or to get shots and they find out and tell her. Shit damn see how much that didn't make sense i couldn't even curse right I'm so upset and angry i wanted to end it all suicide, that's how badly i fucked up god probably wouldn't even want me up there with him he would probably send me straight to hell for what i did i can hear my mom's voice right now "Seriously Ari what the hell" And the rest of my family standing behind her with that look of disappointment on there face I'm not sure if i want to tell anybody I'm scared for what the waiting results would be like.