BETTER SAFE THAN ZOMBIE

3| A One-Pound Shit

"I can't believe you just laughed at me!" I said, glaring at Ethan. "And I can't believe I ever thought you would take me seriously. I'm so stupid!"

Ethan smirked. "It’s okay to feel what you are."

I pointed at him. "You, off my planet! I can't stand to be with you any longer!"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't worry. The feeling is mutual."

We were walking now on the streets of a rural area, the time somewhere after three in the afternoon. Typical American houses greeted us block after block, and in contrast to that of the city, the place here looked almost normal. Dead bodies were just spotted occasionally, mostly lying at their perfectly manicured lawns. The mailboxes were mostly knocked to the ground, broken, or smashed flat. Az was pissing on one of them.

"I mean, can't you at least stop being sarcastic for a while? This is a serious matter. If we at least have to go to north together, then we have to establish some kind of a comfortable relationship. And don't worry, I'm not hitting on you. I'm just suggesting if we can try to be friends, then why shouldn't we?"

I took a deep breath. "Or if you don't want to be friends with me, we could try to be partners, I suppose. I've been on my own for a while now, and I'm not that sure you'll always guard my back. You're still a stranger, for Christ's sake! And everybody knows not to trust a stranger."

I suddenly noticed that he seemed to be nodding off. In fact, he is nodding off. "Hey, are you listening to me?"

"Please keep talking," he said. "I yawn when I'm interested."

I hit him in the shoulder, and the corner of his lips quirked. 

This guy was impossible. It was as if he got a kick out of annoying me. Which, knowing him (as a stereotypical jerk) is probably true.

We walked in silence for a while, and though it surprised me, it was a comfortable silence. No one was trying to break it by offering some awkward conversation, and not one of us is tense. After ten minutes of it though, it kind of ticked me off, so I pulled the iPad and the headphone I picked earlier out of my bag and turned it on. It was all pop music. Contented, we walked on, the sun finally setting on the horizon.

"Let's find some shelter," Ethan said, and I called Az. Az immediately went to my side, his tongue lolling out. I flicked my fingers, and he went off, searching for some zombie-free houses. Ethan was watching Az run off.

"That dog of yours is sure useful," he finally said, turning to me. "He's kind of like Jon Snow's wolf in the Game of Thrones."

I carefully plugged out the headphones, turned off the iPad, and stuffed it in the bag.

"He is," I agreed. "Az and I go a long way back."

He didn't say 'obviously' but it was all over his face. I sighed. What is his problem? I have enough number of people to hate in this world without him adding to it. I so didn't need this.

Az suddenly barked, and the two of us followed the sound, stopping right in front of a simple-looking house with two broken windows.

"When Az barks on a house," I explained to Ethan, knowing he's confused, "It doesn't just mean its zombie-free. Most of the houses here are free of zombie. When Az barks, it means it has a smell of less death than the others. I mean, not that Az can smell death, of course. What I mean is, Az can smell less blood and gore on this house than the other houses here. And its also zombie-free. Meaning, it's a nice place to stay in for the night."

He was looking at me weirdly. "You sounded just like the guy from the Discovery channel. Do you ever stop talking?"

"Do you ever stop pissing me off?" I responded.