BETTER SAFE THAN ZOMBIE

OZTS 9| Human Psychology

"You're too late," Max spat out. "Brother already took care of them."

"Pretty palpable grudge there, bud," said Hazel, butting his back with the gun and shoving him a step forward. "While I'd like to listen to all your nasty insults, I don't have time for that, unfortunately. Kath's too worried about Christie."

I glared at her. "Or Haze is too worried about Ethie and just doesn't want to admit it," I retorted.

She scoffed. "Ethie? That sounded like a toy for babies. 'Oooh Mwommy, I bought an ethie! Isn't it cute? I wab it'."

"Hazel, you're just changing the sub—“

"While I'd like to listen to your insults," Max mimicked, interrupting us, "We're here, unfortunately."

We had stopped in front of a door labeled as 291.

Hazel butted Max again in the back with the gun, this time a little harder. "Okay, smartypants. Time to unlock door number three."

As Max twisted the knob, Hazel passed me the handgun. We both braced ourselves as the door slowly swung open.

Empty.

The room was empty.

There was a blur beside me, and I looked down to see Hazel pinning Max down with the gun cocked at his temples. I didn't even notice her taking it away, that's how fast she moved.

"Okay, Flour," she growled. "Enough is enough. Where are they?"

The hair at the back of my neck rose up, and I screamed as strong hands suddenly gripped me from the back. A familiar growl sounded in my ears and I gasped, breaking out in sweat.

"What the fuck?" Hazel exclaimed, eyes wide like saucers as she looked at me.

"Hazel, look out!" I yelled.

But it was too late. Another zombie had latched onto her, caging both of us.

Lying on the floor was Max, giggling. The gun Hazel had dropped in surprise was on the floor, and he picked it up. "You should have seen your faces," he chortled. "Priceless."

"I disagree, little brother," a voice said from behind me. "Everything has a price. Even your life."

The zombie holding me grunted, and I gasped as I was suddenly turned around. I could hear Hazel's zombie turning her around as well, and her affronted yelp.

"Keep your fucking hands off me!" she snarled. "I swear the next time I see one of you Z-holes, I'm going to pull your tongue out of your buttcheeks."

"That's rather harsh," said the guy who was standing in front of me. "And oh, checkmate."

The first thing I noticed when I saw him was that he was wearing glasses. I didn't know why that surprised me so much—it certainly wasn't impossible. The next thing to surprise me was his hair: it was all over the place. Brown hair sticking out in different places like the kind you see on the guys in a Japanese anime. And if it wasn't enough, he was wearing a school uniform, with a necktie and everything.

He was, well, definitely a guy with many quirks.

If you could even call it that.

"Oh great. Another weirdo showed up." Hazel's voice was even drier than the Sahara Desert as she looked the new arrival up and down.

Yep, I thought. Two overly dramatic divas whose egos could probably rival the infinity of the universe, two wacky scientists, a mother hen, one psychotic stalker, one ex-zombie who is possibly still having dreams of eating flesh, one paranoid girl who seems afraid of her own shadow, one kid who is still definitely experiencing pre-ejaculation problems...and now, an evil nerd who could control zombies.