Normani Kordei Hamilton has a problem; she likes bad bitches.
It doesn't matter if they're married, in a relationship or just morally unavailable.
However, Normani is finally ready to make a change but there's just one problem; Lauren Jauregui-Vive...
Ahem, this baby is so freaking handsome. Your wish was granted and here's a brand new, super fresh, original ass chapter. HMPH!
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"Baby?"
"No."
"Maniiiii!"
"Ho, do I need to say it in both your languages? No! That's N to the O, I'm tired, so let me sleep!"
"NORMANI! Your ass is the reason we have to keep waking up at ungodly hours! I told you to pull out!"
"Bitch? The fuck YOU did. I remember all 87 times of your ass saying, give me milk, girl you better get up and get our baby."
"I had the baby, Normani, you get up. Where's my chivalry?"
"Wherever you put them magically disappearing birth control pills."
"No you didn't! It's quite normal to forget to take a pill everyday that you're not used to taking! Newsflash I had been eating strictly vagina for years before your ass!"
"Fine! I'm up, I'm up! You better be glad you made me a GQ baby or I'd make you retro-sign a prenup. Ole trapping ass Cuban!"
"Uh huh, go in there and get our green eyed, loose curl headed baby you be stuntin on the gram, Normani. Go ahead. Say something else!"
Normani opens her mouth to be is cut off at her baby boy wailing. "I'm coming Marky Mark!"
Normani jogs down the hallway, pausing to look at her fake crying little boy. He was so needy, but ya know, babies. After taking a whiff of the air, she figured that maybe that blowout from Grandma Clara's beans was a good ass reason to cry.
A bath, some cuddles, and impromptu photo sesh later, Mani placed her pride and joy back into his crib.
"You know what, your trapping ass mommy did a good job making me a beautiful little boy. So, I guess no prenup? Huh? Are you worth 150 million and counting?"
Marcos smiles:
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"Ugh, you're priceless, baby boy."
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"Hello, white lady and shapeshifter daughter!" Mama Drew yell, using her illegally copied house key.
"Ugh, hello Spawn of Satan for a mother in law! How can I be the brunt of your jokes today? Oops I mean, how can I be of assistance?"
Normani chuckles, ignoring them both as she gives Marcos another spoonful of applesauce. "Your mama and grandma are crazy as hell, but I hope you'll be levelheaded like me. You know, we do have one thing they don't, maybe that's why we are cooler than them."
"Ew, Mani. Stop talking dicks with my Christian grand baby!"
"Momma!? Is that not true?"
"Anyway, put grandma's baby down so I can take a photo of him wearing the outfit I bought him!"
Normani attempts to wipe her slobbering baby, pulling off his bib and unsnapping him from his high chair. "Here, snap away."
"Oooo!! My baby is so handsome! Guess your momma can do something else with her green eyes besides roll them at me. Thanks, white lady, for my boy's eyes."
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"Ugh, Mama Drea. I'm not white! I'm CUBAN! Hence the name of your grandson, Marcos!"
"Sure, sure, you gave him a Spanish name for FAFSA purposes, Heather, keep it up."
Normani cracks up, eliciting a sharp side-eye from her wife and mother of her only child.
"Keep it up Mani. I dare you."
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"Oh my gosh! YOU FINALLY PUT THE MIKE ONESIE I BOUGHT MJ ON HIM!" Dinah yells, grabbing her Godson but basically nephew.
It was DJ and MJ day, a day where they both dressed up in onesies and watched Disney movies. For Mani and Lauren, it was a much needed break from the growing boy, but for DJ; it was her favorite day of the week.
"Ok, y'all can leave cause it's officially cute people only and y'all not invited!"
Marcos giggles at his DJ, not understanding that the tall Poly called his parents ugly.
"DJ don't get that ass beat in front of my child," Mani jokingly warned.
"Girl, bye. Leave, please! It's DJ and MJ day, ok? Y'all are dismissed!"
The Hamiltons rolled their eyes, but left anyway. They were anxious to "go out" and not "stay in bed" and possibly make another sibling for the only child.
"Oh my goodness, why are you so cute, Marcos!?" DJ asks the baby, who was too focused on watching Monsters Inc to pay her any attention.
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"You know what? When you get that Carter's connect, you know Auntie DJ gets 30% right? I mean, I basically started the whole record your life when I stole that sex tape. You can send me a Hallmark later."
