I Need You (Daryl Dixon Fanfiction)

Chapter 34

Ruth-

I can't say what set me off, because I don't even know, I fished my brain for hours, and still couldn't figure it out. Daryl explained the situation to me, but I still can't come to terms with it. Wanna know what I'm talking about let me take you back a few hours. Today was drop off day, we were picking up and dropping off supplies to other communities. Everyone was still at the Kingdom, they were working on getting the Hilltop back up, so far they had it cleaned up, now they were just working on the blue prints of it.

I decided to go this time, Daryl really wanted me to get out and go see everyone. When I arrived everyone was happy to see me, of course they all hid concern on their faces, I looked completely different, I was pretty rugged. That's when a girl that I didn't recognize; she must've been a girl from the Kingdom, she came up to Daryl, and took him to the side, talking to him. This is where things became a blur to me. Daryl told me the girl that I attacked was talking to him about teaching a group how to use the crossbow, they had found an untouched hunting gear shop, and found a few crossbows, but no clue how to use them. I guess she hugged Daryl, and kissed my Daryl on the cheek, that set me off.

This is what I was told, because I only remember the aftermath. I ran at her and tackled her to the ground and started whaling on her, as Daryl would say "Ruthlessly." She managed to get a few good swings in on me, but not enough to stop me. It took Rick, Sasha, and Daryl to get me off of her. Daryl and Rick held my arms back, and Sasha stood in front of me holding me back. I wouldn't calm down, and I head butted Sasha, trying to get her out of my face, that's when Sasha lashed back. Rick let me go, to stop Sasha, but I got away from Daryl, and Sasha got past Rick and we beat the heck out of each other. Finally we were torn apart, Daryl, and Rick held me back, Jesus and Maggie keeping Sasha back.

That's when I came back, I was in control again. I looked around, seeing bloodied Sasha, and the other girl, knocked out on the ground. My knees gave out and I fell to the ground, looking at my blood covered hands, my whole body ached, including my face. Daryl knelt down next to me, I could only see through one of my eyes clearly.

"What the hell happened?" I groaned, wiping blood from my mouth.

"Ruthless." Was all he said.

Now I was sitting in the infirmary, I had just woken up from many hours of sleep. Sasha and the other girl were here too, Daryl had explained and apologized to the other girls for me. I felt stupid for letting myself snap like that, Sasha was in the bed next to me, the other girl next to her.

"You okay, Ruthless?" Sasha spoke through her swollen lip, dabbing an ice pack to it.

"Yeah, still friends?" I looked at her with my not swollen eye.

"Yeah, a good fight does the body good." She smiled.

"I'm sorry Sasha I don't know what came over me, I would never hurt anyone for no reason." I pleaded to Sasha.

"So did I do something?" The other girl spoke quietly.

"I don't know," I got up out of my bed, went over to her, and she coward as I approached her." I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, you really did nothing, I don't know what came over me," she looked at me wide-eyed," I'm Ruth if you didn't know that already."

"Sarah." She relaxed a little.

"Even though with what just happened, I hope we can move past it, maybe be friends?" I shrugged.

"Maybe." She smirked.

Hours later we were cleared to go, I was reluctant to leave, because I knew there was a scolding waiting for me back home. The ride home was quiet, I knew Daryl was frustrated with me and my actions, or as Rick called it a tantrum. Everyone knew me, they knew I was much better than that, so needless to say everyone was disappointed in me. I had no excuse or explanation for what I had done, I had changed, and not in a good way. Maybe it was time I went out on patrols, and supply runs, let Ruthless out a little more often then holding it in. Ruthless was basically a personality, a mood, a person. I don't know where it came from, I think she showed up after Daryl left, after I cried myself to sleep for a week straight; she showed up. She was emotionless, thoughtless, mean, suffering, alone, strong, and to top it off Ruthless. She didn't like to be called out, but she did like a fight. I hated her but I didn't know how to get rid of her, I didn't know how to keep her down, when she appeared it was like vomit, I couldn't keep her down. Thing was, if I did patrols and runs, Daryl couldn't come with me, I think he was Ruthless' tinder, he was the one that fueled her fire. So I needed to do it alone.