Breathe |girlxgirl|

*Thirteen*

((Kendra's POV))

I really shouldn't stay here longer than I have to.

I stand up and head towards the door when someone pushes me aside, running towards the bathroom. I slip and almost fall, but someone grabs my arm, steadying me.

"Thanks." I mumble. I keep my head down and walking away quickly, not caring to see whoever saved me from embarrassment.

I hate Erica for blackmailing me. I hate Ryan for being a drunk. I hate Ashley for being my boss. But most of all, I hate myself for getting into these stupid ass problems.

I burst into the bathroom and sit in the bigger stall, on the closed toilet lid.

I pull out my phone. I have a message from Maurice, my head boss.

[How are things holding up with the new girl?]

{She's a hard worker.}

[That's great to hear! Do you get along well?]

If you only knew...

{Yes, of course. She's quiet, but a good person to work with.}

[Awesome! I hope I did the right thing by hiring her. How is Ashley doing?]

{She's good, I think.}

[Well that's good. I just wanted to check in with someone. Ashley wasn't answering my calls or texts. Have a good day, Kendra!]

{I'm sorry to hear that. And thanks, you too!}

Ashley ignored Maurice's texts and phone calls? That's not like her at all. Ashley's head practically resides in Maurice's ass. Something must be up.

I look down at the floor and am brought back to the problem at hand. Tears slide down my cheeks when the images of Ryan appear in my mind. It's so sad. I haven't even gotten to break it off with him. I mean I still feel something for him, but I can't do this. I can't continue the nightmares, the flashbacks, the blackmailed hospital visits, the crying, the self-loathing. I'm only one person....I can't live like this anymore....

After I finish crying, I leave the bathroom. The clock on the hallway wall reads 4:35pm. I should probably head to work. I don't need to put more depressing images in my head.

**********************************************

I arrive at the bakery and am greeted with an empty store. No customers, no other employees. It's weird. I don't like it. Being alone is a hate of mine, as in I fucking hate being alone. Again, more irony, because I never stay in a relationship long.

I open up everything and sit up on a stool in front of the register.

God damnit, someone buy some fucking food already.

Twenty minutes pass before someone waltzes through the front door, grin spread across their face like warm butter. It's Marissa's...."special friend"....Jared.

"Welcome to Maury's Munchies, can I get something for you?" I greet, plastering a grin across mine.

"Hi, I'd like an order of six cupcakes." He says.

"Alright. Anything else?"

"Nope." He replies, popping the "p".

"Okay, that'll be $12." I sigh.

He hands me $15 and says to keep the change.

Wow, throwing around the cash wad aren't we, Mr. Moneybags?

"Is everything okay?" He asks.

"Yeah. Just peachy." I snap.

"I'm just asking. You don't have to be mean. But if you don't want to tell me, then I'm okay with that too." He frowns.

I rub my arm gingerly before huffing at him. He IS just being a nice person.

"Well....everything is really complicated..."

"How so?" He gives me a sideways glance.

"Well....you see..."

************

"And so, yeah." I end.

Jared's eyes are huge and his mouth is wide open, gaping at me. I reach over and push his chin up, closing his mouth for him, but it falls back open and I roll my eyes with a laugh.

"So you're in this twisted, really really really fucked up love pyramid with a baker, your dying boyfriend, and your boss?" He asks.

"My 'less important' boss." I correct.

"And I thought family holidays with my gay aunt were crazy."

This makes me laugh. Not a fake, forced laugh, but a real, comfortable, happy laugh.

"I'm serious! One thanksgiving, her girlfriend stuffed condoms in the turkey so all of us older kids would 'be safe' and so we all wouldn't get in trouble for having them. She made us all take some." He says with a very serious face.

"Oh I bet you used those up pretty quickly then." I laugh.

He rubs the back of his neck and laughs.

"Nooooo, my mom took every single one of them as soon as we got up from the dinner table."

This sends me into a fit of laughter even worse than before. I let out a loud snort and start holding my sides, laughing so hard that my stomach hurts. Every time I replay what he said in my mind, I laugh harder and harder. I slip and fall backwards out of the stool with a scream, crashing onto the floor. Jared jumps up and picks me up.

"Are you okay?! Jeez, I didn't think it'd be that funny."

"I'm okay." I smile.

"Good, because I'm too tired to drag a dead body."

I laugh gently and this makes him smile.

"You're pretty when you smile." He says softly.

My face heats up.

"Th-Thank you.." I mumble.

He inches forward and my breathing starts quickening. Ohgodohgodohgod.

Jared leans in and brushes his lips against mine, like he's testing the ice before he walks. I habitually close my eyes and he deepens the kiss. He moves his hands to the back of my head, under my hair, and he cups his hands to hold my head gently while he roughly kisses me. I try to pull away, but I'm too late. It's like I've given him full access already and he isn't taking refunds. I put my hands on his chest to push him away but he grips me tighter and starts roughly kissing my neck.

"Jared...s-s-s" I try to say stop, but I can't speak for fear that I'll make that weird noise. And I won't because I don't like him. I don't like this.

Yes you do.

He goes back to kissing my lips, but this time he puts his hand on my inner thigh and one on my stomach. My heart is racing. This is so wrong. I can't do this. I don't even know this guy.

His hand goes up my shirt and he starts playing with my bra. This boy knows what he's doing....

"Jared..." I whimper.

"Kendra?!?" A voice shrieks from the door and I push Jared off of me. Both of our breathing is ragged.

My voice catches in my throat and tears start forming in my eyes. It's Marissa.

"Kendra? H-How-"

"Marissa, I-I...it's not..." I get up and run to the back room, sobbing uncontrollably like a baby.

I knew I shouldn't have done this.