One and Only

Chapter 28

Thea's P.O.V

I slowly open the letter and began to read it.

It read:
Dear Loved Ones,
   I'm so sorry for the pain I have put on you. I'm so sorry for not being stronger. I hope you know that I really am sorry. I wish I could've done it, but frankly it has gotten so bad that I can't. I love you guys more than anything in the world. Thea, you were the best sister anyone could ever wish for. You protected me from any danger or harm. I love you more than anything. I didn't mean it when I said it was your fault. I don't blame you, please don't blame yourself. I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for Caylen. She is absolutely gorgeous and perfect. Please, let her grow up to know me as the aunt who loved her so very much and not the aunt who was a coward. Mom, oh mom. I'm so sorry. I didn't think it would come to this. You're the best I could ever want. You've done so much for me. Thank you. Please don't blame yourself or be sad for too long. You have a wedding to plan and be ready for. I love you so much mommy.
And finally, Matt. You have became my father. You have showed me that a real father was possible. Thank you.
I never got the courage to tell you guys, but I was raped by a guy a school. I'm so sorry guys I really am. Things just have gotten out of hand. I can't do it anymore. Everyday is a battle with myself. I have no fight left inside me. I'm done. I surrender. I love you guys so so much. Please don't be say for long. Just think as it as I'm happy. I love you guys. Good bye.

*end of note*

I couldn't believe what I was reading. I couldn't understand any of it until I read the last two words. I knew what it was. It was Leda's suicide note. I drop the piece of paper and run to her door. I knock and pound onto her door but nothing. I started screaming and crying hitting her door over and over.

Mikey ran up the stairs, "What's wrong?"
"Open the fucking door!" I yell.

Mikey ran his shoulder into the door a couple times before it gave in. I walked into the room and seen my biggest fear. There was a motionless, lifeless Leda. She was laying peacefully on her bed with a smile on her face. I thought maybe she was just sleeping.

I ran over to her, "Leda! Leda! Leda!" I kept repeating and shaking her but she didn't respond.
"No! No! No! Why! Why! Leda! Why!" I kept yelling as the tears ran down my cheeks.
This can't be happened. No. No way. It can't.
Mikey slowly came over to me and picked me off the floor.
"What am I suppose to do?" I mumble.
"We have to call 911. I'll call them while you call your parents." He said and I nodded.

I grabbed my phone and started calling mom.

"Hello?" She answered.
*i just cry*
"Thea what's wrong?" She kept asking.
"L-L-Leda's dead. She committed s-suicide." I barely got out.
"What?"
"She's dead!" I practically yell.
*mom was silent*
"Mikey called 911 meet us at the hospital." I say and hang up before she could say anything else.

When I walked back into Leda's room, I seen the red and blue lights flashing, rushing up to our house. Soon 2 paramedics were rushing inside asking what happened. Mikey explained. I couldn't do anything it's like everything was in slow motion. Like it was a dream. I was snapped out of the dream when I seen them cover her face with the sheet and wheel her out to the ambulance.

"You can come down to the hospital to make arrangements." One paramedic said.
I just nod.

"D-Do you think your parents could keep the baby?" I ask Mikey.
"I already called, moms on her way." He said and I nod.

After his mom picks Caylen up, Mikey drove us to the hospital, where mom and Matt were already at. I guess the doctor already talked to them, judging by the makeup running down mom's face.

"She overdosed." Matt said while trying to stop crying. "She was on oxycodone and alcohol."
I didn't say anything. I could say anything. The doctor soon showed up where he lifeless body was.

We walked in and my heart stopped. I walke Dover to her and looked down on her. This doesn't even look like my sister. She is ice cold. She's not all sarcastic like my sister. This isn't my sister. She wouldn't do this. She wouldn't put pain on everyone. She was the type to try to take it away, not give it.

"In 5 minutes the funeral home is coming to take the body." Some guy said.
"She's not a body. She's my sister!" I snap.
"Uh- right. Sorry." He said and left.

I wrapped my arms around her lifeless body and started screaming. Mikey picked me up when they came to take her. I watched them wheel away my sister in a body bag. My little sister is dead.

*skip to the funeral*
It's been 3 days since Leda's been dead. Today is the day of her funeral. I find a black lace dress and a pair of heels. I get dress and go to her room. I sit on her bed and just look around. I can't believe that she did it. I can't believe she's just gone. How is someone just gone? I wish she never done it. I want my little sister back. That's all I wish for. That's all I want. Please.

"You ready?" Mikey asks holding Caylen.
"Yeah." I say and get up and leave her room.

I put Caylen in her seat and get in the passengers seat. Mikey drives us there.

Once there, we walked in to see her first. She looked so peaceful. She just looks like she's asleep. But i know that's not true. I walk up to her casket and look at my little sister, with her hair and makeup done, and her nails painted. She looked beautiful despite the fact she was dead.

As people arrived, I received a lot of 'I'm sorry for your loss.' I hate hearing those words. I hate acting like I'm thankful for people to show up. They shouldn't have had to show up. Leda shouldn't have killed herself. She should've been alive. She should be alive.

"She doesn't part her hair like that." I say to mom.
"I know sweetie." Mom answers.

Mom is taking it pretty hard. I know Matt is as well. Me? I'm numb. I'm angry. I'm broken. I don't know what I am. I'm a mixture of many things. I get to speak at her service. Yay me.

"Now, Thea would like to say a couple words." The pastor said and introduced me.

"Hello, I'm Thea, Leda's older sister. I'm sure there are many things we think about when we hear her name. What I think of is how she would light up when she did hair or makeup. It was her passion and she was so good at it. She could make me look better than I ever could." I paused and smile. "She was such a beautiful and smart person. She would always help me with homework even though I was 2 grades a head of her. She was such a bright and bubbly person. When you seen her, she would always have a smile on her face for anyone. This world has lost an amazing person. One who will be terribly missed. Thank you." I finish and go back to sit down.

Burying her was even worse. There was no talking, no music, nothing but silence as she was lowered into a hole. A hole 6 feet deep and where she will stay. Once they finished putting her in the hole, we all head back to our cars and then home. Once home, everything seemed wrong.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask Mikey.
"What's up?"
"Can we get our own place?"
"You mean now?"
"Yeah. I think we're ready. I think we can do it." I tell him.
"Well, we can start looking for a place. I have some move saved back." He said.
"I do too. We can find a little house until we can get a bigger place." I say.
"Is that what you want?" He asks.
"Yes."
"Well, I'll get that laptop and we can start looking." He said and grabbed the laptop.

After hours of searching I finally found the most perfect place. It was a 2 bedrooms, 1 bath, white house. It has a fence around it and a little back yard for Caylen to play in.

"I found the perfect place." I tell Mikey.
"Where?"
"25 minutes away."
"When can we look at it?"
"Wednesday, 3 days from now."
"Let me see." He says and moves closer.

I show him and he falls in love with it just like I did. Now just to tell mom that we're looking to move. Maybe I'll wait until we look at it. But for now, bed time.

It's been so weird without Leda. Nothing is the same. Nothing is right. Why did she have to do it? I will never understand.